Six Months
by bsloths
Summary: Derek and Casey had a huge fight the night before she left for New York. Now that they're living separate lives, Casey can start over on Broadway ... or not. And Derek can start to get over her ... or not. Multichapter. Dasey.
1. The Men in Her Life

I was always staunchly opposed to Casey taking the Broadway job at the end of _Vacation With Derek_. I couldn't fathom it. But as I've gotten older, I've realized that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if Derek and Casey spent some time apart. My fic _Edwin Venturi, Matchmaker_, is still my favorite headcanon post-movie (despite some things about it that are a little squicky in retrospect), but I wanted to explore a new angle that was about them figuring out adulthood together.

This fic puts them in present day, so they have 2019 technology.

I'll be posting two or three times a week, since the chapters are relatively short and the fic is already written. Hope you enjoy!

-Brandi

Disclaimer: I do not own _Life With Derek_ nor do I make any money from borrowing its characters.

**Chapter 1: The Men in Her Life **

Dennis knew his daughter was going through a tough time, but he didn't know what to do about it. She gave him a small smile as she entered the apartment, then retreated to her room like she did every night after work. He had paused the TV to say goodnight to her, so he left the screen frozen as he thought about his options for the millionth time.

She had refused his offer of finding her a therapist, although he had added her to his health insurance plan when she moved in.

She had refused every invitation to go for a walk in the park, go to a museum, and even go out to dinner, so asking yet again would just be met with another no. He was trying to keep the fridge stocked with foods she liked, and would offer to go grocery shopping with her. But he noticed that she barely showed interest in food these days anyway. It had only been a couple of months, but she was noticeably thinner.

It didn't help that they both worked six days a week. Before she got the job at the coffeehouse, she had been on Broadway for eight shows a week—and somehow he was seeing less of her now than when she was dancing.

He knew he should go knock on her door and demand they spend some time together. But they just didn't have that kind of relationship. They enjoyed each other's company, but they had very separate lives and were each fiercely private. He knew that privacy was probably hard to come by in a house of seven up in London, so he wanted her to feel comfortable in his apartment.

Dennis reached for the remote. He knew there was one option he hadn't tried, because he really didn't want to. But it was time. He pressed Play. Tomorrow he would call his ex-wife.

**NYCNYCNYC**

Every day, Jesse walked by the same coffeehouse. And every day, he had to remind himself not to look inside and see if his ex-girlfriend was working. Sometimes he did anyway. She would be smiling at a customer, her ponytail swaying as she handed them their drink. Or she would be wiping down the tables with a wet rag, a look of contemplation on her face.

This afternoon, she was mopping up a spill, expression unreadable. She lifted her head and Jesse quickly turned, not wanting to make eye contact through the window.

He knew he should find a new route to the theater. But really, going out of his way to get to work just seemed ridiculous. He would get over this breakup eventually. It had been two months, and they'd only dated for four.

It was nobody's fault; neither of them did anything wrong. They just wanted different things. Jesse knew that he could get laser-focused when he was working, and the rest of his life faded into the background a bit. That's why he enjoyed going out with women who also understood that feeling. And once she had been fired, they really didn't have much to talk about.

His throat tightened as he remembered the day she walked away for good, bag of her stuff from his apartment in hand. They had maybe moved a little more quickly than she was ready for. He had kept forgetting that she was only 18. He had been hustling for so long, and she was just starting to figure out who she was outside of the cocoon of high school. And to do it in New York while dancing eight shows a week … no wonder she had flamed out.

He was living his dream life, and she had been caught up in a nightmare.

**NYCNYCNYC**

Queen's had let Derek back in for another semester. He couldn't believe how much he was enjoying university. He was getting good enough grades to keep his hockey scholarship, but he still made time to attend plenty of parties. He and Sam were roommates again this semester, and he was grateful to live with someone who had exactly zero annoying habits, unlike a certain brown-haired princess.

He clenched his teeth and groaned inwardly. Somehow his thoughts always drifted to his stepsister. It had been almost six months since they'd spoken.

Derek had wanted to call her so many times. He had written and then erased so many texts. But who was he kidding? There was no way he would be the one to make the first move.

He pulled his hat down and tightened his scarf against the February chill. Things had ended badly between them, and when she didn't show up for Christmas with the family, he had to admit he had been disappointed. Okay, crushed. It was a feeling he'd never experienced before. He had been so sure that she would put aside their problems and show up to meet their new brother. But she had performances so close to Christmas that flying home to London just didn't make sense. So she said. But he had a feeling it was because of him. And that sucked. He knew that she FaceTimed with the entire family, including her new brother, on a regular basis, all while completely ignoring him for six months.

And if there was one thing Derek did not like, it was being ignored. By her.


	2. A New Normal

I was starting to write this around when I discovered feed-fat-tommy's _Everything's Coming Up Dasey_. The story vibes felt very similar to me, so anyone out there who hasn't read that fic, go find it after you finish this chapter. It's SO good.

-Brandi

**Chapter 2: A New Normal **

Casey lifted her hair and let the hot water cascade down her back. This had been a particularly grueling shift. A customer had spilled an entire cup of coffee after slipping on a muffin someone had dropped on the floor. Luckily, they were good-natured about it, and they hadn't gotten hurt. Just as she was finishing mopping up, she saw Jesse walking by on his way to work. He wasn't looking at her, but even seeing him in profile, she felt the familiar heartache. He had been her first adult boyfriend, in the sense that he had his own (tiny) place complete with total privacy, and they had conversations about their future together as adults. Although she wasn't in love with him, she thought maybe she would get there. That's why she said yes to some things she should have said no to. She would never tell him that, but it was part of the reason they had broken up. She didn't feel comfortable around him anymore. Every time she looked at him, all she saw was someone who still had the job she had just lost, and someone she had given part of herself to that she couldn't get back.

By the time Casey got home that night, it took all of her energy to smile at her dad and make it into the shower. She really hoped she would be able to work some morning shifts soon, but she was the newbie, so she had to take what she could get. She also suspected that her manager knew she wasn't ready to handle the morning rush. She was a better barista than she had been a waitress, but she was still a little clumsy and got overwhelmed easily.

But this job was temporary. She only had to keep it until August, when she could pretend that her contract with the Broadway show was up and she could go home to London. Casey turned around and stuck her face under the showerhead. She stepped back to be able to breathe again and almost slipped, grabbing the washcloth bar just in time. She waited until her legs stopped shaking before letting go. That had been a close one. The last thing she needed was a trip to the hospital. If she got hurt, her dad would definitely want to tell her mom, and then her secret would be out. No one knew that she had gotten fired except Jesse and her dad.

**NYCNYCNYC**

The next morning, she slept until almost noon, which was becoming less unusual as time went on. Her dad had left her a note next to the sink—_Have a good day, sweetheart. Call me if you need anything. Love, Dad_—which was also becoming less unusual these days. She had a feeling he saw how sad she had been since the nearly simultaneous firing and breakup, and he had certainly tried to talk to her about it. But she was just in a funk, that was all. She just needed to go back to bed.

She fell asleep again quickly, and her alarm going off startled her out of a vivid dream. It was the night before she left for New York. She was in her London bedroom, which now had bare walls and nothing but her bed and a few items she wasn't taking with her. Derek barged in, like he always did, except this time he looked sad. "Casey, please, I'm begging you." He got down on his knees and hugged her around the waist. "You need to stay, Case. I need you to stay." He began melting like the Wicked Witch of the West as she looked down at him, dissolving in a puddle of the tears streaming down his face and onto the floor. "Stay, Casey, stay …" he repeated until there was nothing left of him.

Ugh. She hated dreaming about Derek. It happened at least once a week, and it was always weird. Except the part about her bare bedroom and Derek storming in like he always did. That was real. And then they had had a huge fight and hadn't talked for six months. She had wanted to text him so many times, to call and hear his voice again. But she knew she couldn't, because then she would have to admit that the horrible thing he had he said to her that night was true: She couldn't hack it in New York. She was the one drowning in a puddle of her own tears. She rolled over and stretched. _Don't be so melodramatic_, she chided herself.

There was an hour before she had to be at work, so she decided she'd better eat something. She picked at her dad's leftover dinner from the night before but could barely taste it. It was snowing, so she dug out her boots from the hall closet and steeled herself to head out into the frigid late-February afternoon.

**NYCNYCNYC**

She was almost to work when her phone rang. It was her mom. She let it go to voicemail, feeling guilty about not at least saying a quick hello. But she had kept contact minimal these last two months, and she hadn't FaceTimed. She knew she would give herself away if she was looking at her mom. She would break down and cry and the whole story would come out. But she couldn't bear the pity, the disappointment, how smug Derek would be when he found out through the family grapevine. She had to keep up the pretense that she was still at the theater. A text came in: _Hi honey, call me asap. xoxo. _

The "asap" part was weird. But her mom had probably noticed the lack of contact lately. She would have to make a point to call her on her break tonight. _Oh._ Casey stopped short, causing the pedestrians behind her to let out some choice words. She picked up her pace, and now her mind was racing too. She had just realized that Derek's birthday was in three days. She hadn't completely forgotten; she did still keep a calendar. But it wasn't exactly top of mind when he was hundreds of miles away and not currently speaking to her. Maybe her mom wanted to remind her—but no, that could be accomplished with a text. That left the worse option—she wanted to try to convince Casey to reconcile with him in time to wish him a happy birthday.

Not. Happening.


	3. The First Ambush

**Chapter 3: The First Ambush **

Casey angled herself away from the dumpsters, trying to pretend she wasn't huddled in the alley behind the coffeehouse and sitting on an empty trash bag to avoid getting soaked through from the snow. Luckily, she had texting gloves, so she wouldn't get frostbite during the fifteen minutes she had to talk to her mom. She quickly texted to ask if it was a good time to call, and her mom said yes. The timing was pretty perfect—it was about when intermission would have been when she was working at the theater, so her mom wouldn't realize anything was amiss.

"Hi, honey! Hold on one sec, I just have to put Simon down."

"Sure."

Casey could hear the sleepy coos of her brother in the background as her mom turned her attention to her. "Okay, all set. How are you?"

"I'm fine, Mom. Listen, if this is about Derek—"

Her mom laughed, cutting her off. "Did you think I was going to remind you about his birthday? I know you know when it is."

"Oh. Okay then. I just didn't want to talk about him, so I figured I'd say something up front."

Her mom sighed, and Casey felt a little guilty for assuming the worst. "I'm not going to get in the middle, Case. Of course, I'd love it if you two made up, but I know I can't force you." She sounded sad, and Casey felt even more guilty.

"How are you, Mom? How is Simon? And everyone?"

"Casey, I want to talk about you. Your dad is concerned that you've been a little depressed lately."

She almost dropped the phone. Her dad had talked to her mom? Had he betrayed her trust? She had asked him not to share her secret, and he had agreed. Or so she had thought. "I guess living here is a little harder than I expected it to be," she allowed, not wanting to give away too much.

"Your dad said you and Jesse broke up?"

It was Casey's turn to sigh. If this was about Jesse, she could talk about that. It would hurt, but she could certainly tell her mom a version of the truth. "Yes. It was mutual though. When we came here together, we weren't that serious, and things started to get serious, and I realized we want different things. I'm upset about it, of course, but I'll be fine."

"I'm so sorry to hear that, honey. But I'm glad you didn't stay in something that wasn't good for you. I'm glad you listened to your heart."

Ha. Her mom had no idea how close that was to the truth when it came to Jesse … and her job. It hadn't been good for her. And she knew in her heart it wasn't the right fit. But getting fired still hurt. "Me, too. Dad is worrying too much."

Her mom started to speak and then must have thought better of it. Casey waited, heart pounding. She hated keeping things from her mom.

Her mom tried again. "Casey, your father wouldn't have called me if he didn't have a reason to be worried. I don't want to have to hear what's going on with you from him."

She had said it gently, but it still stung to be reminded that her mom was so far removed from her life. Casey didn't know what to say. And suddenly she couldn't say anything because she was too busy trying to fight past the lump in her throat. She was starting to cry, but she couldn't let her mom know that. As good as it would feel to get her mom's sympathy, the pity and disappointment over her spectacular failure would be worse. And under no circumstances could Derek find out. It was safer to keep everyone in the dark so no one slipped and told him.

"Casey?"

Casey swallowed. "It's just really hard being here. I miss you," she managed to choke out, barely disguising her tears.

Her mom started to cry too. "Honey, I miss you so much!" She sniffled, and Casey felt better—she was so lonely, and it was comforting to share her pain with her mom even a little bit. "Casey, I would come down there and see you, you know I would, but Simon's still too little."

"I know, Mom," Casey said thickly.

"So I'm sending Lizzie and Edwin."

"Wh … What?" Well, that had taken a turn. She wiped her eyes.

"They can miss a couple of days of school. What do you say to long weekend visit starting Friday? I've already cleared it with your dad."

Casey's heart started pounding. How could she keep her firing a secret when her siblings were staying in the same apartment? They had all (except Derek, who was already at Queen's) come to see her show when it first opened in September, but she had a feeling Lizzie and Ed would insist on going to the theater with her. That wouldn't go over so well for obvious reasons. But … it would be amazing to see them, especially Lizzie. Texting almost every day wasn't enough. "That sounds really good," she said honestly.

"Perfect! I'll book their flights and text you and your dad the details."

Casey was going to have to tell them the truth and swear them to secrecy.


	4. Reconnection

**Chapter 4: Reconnection**

Casey woke up on Derek's birthday with the memory of being wrapped in his arms. Of course, it wasn't a real memory—he had never hugged her, but he'd put his arm around her enough times that she could imagine what it felt like. The dream had been intense, and kind of romantic, which was crazy, but she couldn't control her sleeping brain. She knew these dreams were happening because they hadn't made up yet, and if she would just swallow her pride and call him, they could go back to how things used to be. To grudging affection, as she liked to think of it.

Her stomach growled, and she looked at the clock. It was after ten. She wasn't working today, and suddenly she had the urge to down a big, greasy breakfast. She hadn't been this hungry since before she got fired.

As she walked to the closest diner, she ran through all of the things she could try to bribe her siblings with, money being the obvious choice. Too bad she had very little of it. When she had first moved in, her dad had wanted to give her an allowance, knowing that it was tough to live in Manhattan on a Broadway salary. She had refused, and they agreed she would buy everything she needed on her own, she just wouldn't have to pay rent. After seeing Jesse's apartment, which was the size of a large closet, she was so grateful to her dad for that. So her coffeehouse money went to half of the utilities and her own food, clothes, toiletries, and other belongings. She was on a tight budget, but she had to admit she liked the feeling of independence, even if she was living with her dad.

But she really didn't want to get in the habit of bribing her siblings. That was much more Derek's style.

Derek. She apparently wasn't going to avoid thinking about him, especially today.

At the diner, she ordered chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, and bacon in Derek's honor. Then inspiration hit—she could text him a picture of her breakfast, say happy birthday … and then it would be his turn to reply. They wouldn't have to actually talk.

She texted a photo when her food came, with the caption _Happy Birthday, Derek_. She debated for much longer than she should have whether to use an exclamation point or a period at the end, so she decided to go punctuation-free.

It took only seconds for him to respond. She gasped when she saw the three gray dots signaling that he was typing. _How did you know what I was having?_ he wrote, then sent a photo of an identical breakfast on a tray. He must be at the campus cafeteria, she thought.

Her FaceTime alert sounded.

Casey's stomach clenched. He wanted to talk? No. No, no, no, she couldn't.

She hit the green button.

"Well, well, well, enjoying our breakfast?" he said as soon as they connected. Then his eyes widened. "You look like crap, Case."

Casey's nerves dissipated instantly, and now she was annoyed. Only Derek could get her riled up that quickly, and it drove her nuts. "Thanks a lot," she fumed, scrambling for a comeback. She couldn't even say "so do you"—he looked as cool and casual as he always did, with perfectly rumpled hair. It was infuriating how little effort he put in to look that good. Not that she really noticed that kind of thing. But she hadn't seen him for so long, and yeah, she could admit that he was handsome.

"You okay? You sick or something?" He looked concerned.

"I've been really busy and not sleeping well lately," she said, knowing that if she tried to lie, he'd see through it. She smoothed back her hair and tried to open her eyes a little wider. She knew that wouldn't really hide the dark circles under them, or her pale complexion. "I'm starting to feel better now." She surprised herself by saying that, since all of a sudden it felt true.

He shoved a huge forkful of pancake into his mouth and chewed, watching her, obviously not quite convinced. She looked down at his plate, not wanting to meet his eyes. "Aren't you going to eat? It'll get cold," he said.

Casey looked up at him, baffled. Why did he even bother calling if they were just going to eat their breakfast together? "Do you want to call me back?"

He set the phone down so she could only see his plate and people walking by behind him. "Nope. I'm trying to have a very nice birthday breakfast here, Case. Stop ruining it."

She rolled her eyes. The diner wasn't that crowded, so she could probably put her phone down with the volume up and still hear him. She did, and they ate in silence for a few minutes. It was oddly comforting, like something they would have done back home. And she was really enjoying her food. It had been awhile since anything had appealed to her, and the chocolate chip pancakes were perfect. She could hear someone come up to Derek and wish him happy birthday. It sounded like a woman's voice, and her mind wandered briefly to whether he had a girlfriend. Not that it was any of her business.

But then it was quiet again. Maybe just staying on this call with her was helping him feel a little better about being stuck at school on his birthday. She knew how much he liked everyone making a fuss over him.

"Did you hear from anyone else in the family yet today?" she asked, not moving the phone. It was easier to talk when she wasn't looking at him.

"Yeah, they all FaceTimed me this morning. And they sent a package with food and stuff. Lizzie knitted me yet another scarf." She could hear the smile in his voice as he talked. She had been right—he was a little homesick. She understood that all too well.

"And Marti and Edwin?" she asked.

"Marti drew me some things for my dorm. She's actually getting pretty good at sketching. And Ed got me Leafs tickets. We're gonna go to a game on my spring break."

Casey's eyes welled up thinking about everyone. She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes before picking up her phone so she could see Derek. He saw what she was doing and did the same. "That's so cool. Ed and Lizzie are coming to visit me tomorrow."

"Nora is letting them miss school? I'm impressed." He chuckled. "You know Simon is gonna be able to get away with murder."

Casey smiled. "Of course. But you know he's got a fifty-fifty shot of being a keener like me."

"Not a chance, McDonald. I'm gonna teach him everything he knows."

She shook her head and laughed. It felt so good to joke around with Derek like this. He didn't seem to want to bring up their fight, and she certainly didn't either … so it was fine with her to pretend it had never happened. The previous year, when she had started to realize that their teasing had gotten gentler, and they were pretty supportive of each other, she had almost thought of them as friends. Maybe they could be that again.

Someday. Not now, when she still had a big secret to keep.

Derek was watching her again, smiling to himself. Maybe he was realizing that things could be normal again too. "Hey, I saw some clips of your show on YouTube. It looks really good."

Casey almost dropped her phone and inwardly cursed the look of panic she knew had just crossed her face.

"Relax, Space Case. They were _legal _clips." He rolled his eyes. "You know, behind-the-scenes stuff with the cast."

He had misinterpreted her expression. Good. "Oh. Yeah, it's pretty incredible. I really like the whole company." Not lies. Just … past-tense truths.

"The 'company'? You are such a theater snob." He did exaggerated finger quotes when he said "company," and she swished her hand at him dismissively.

"Whatever. Just because you insist on remaining an uncultured—"

"I should have shown up," he said, cutting her off. "You know, when everyone came to see it." He looked away from her, seeming embarrassed.

She couldn't believe it. That was almost an apology. "That's not what I meant. I wasn't trying to say you should have."

"Oh." He met her eyes again, sheepish. "Well, it's still true." He paused, his expression turning playful. "This show is a big deal. All the girls here talk about it. If I had come, it would have given me an in, ya know?" he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

He was so predictable. But that was a good thing. She didn't want to talk about the show anymore. "Too bad. You'll just have to think of another way to impress them."

"Maybe I still could … you know … come see you in it?" He looked slightly nervous, and she tried to keep her breathing even.

"Maybe …" she allowed, not trusting herself to say much.

Derek seemed to sense that that wasn't a good avenue to go down. "Anyway, I should probably go. I have class soon."

Casey picked up her last strip of bacon. "Happy birthday, Derek. Cheers!" She lifted it toward her phone.

He smiled, toasting her back with his empty plate. "Thanks." He paused, seeming nervous again. "Talk soon?"

She nodded. "Sure." And she meant it.


	5. Derek's Side

**Chapter 5: Derek's Side**

On his birthday, Derek woke up to Sam singing to him wildly off-key, holding out a cupcake with a candle in it. Super embarrassing. But hey, he didn't have Marti there to sing to him, so this was the next best thing.

Well, not the _next _best thing. But a kinda nice thing. Sam gave him a dopey smile when he finished singing and set the cupcake down on his nightstand. "Happy birthday, oh Derekus."

Derek rolled over and blew out the candle. _I wish Casey would say happy birthday._

"You are unbelievably lame, you know that, right, Samuel?"

Sam opened their dorm room door. "You loved it. See ya for dinner tonight." And he was gone, off to an early class.

Derek got out of bed and bit into his cupcake. It was a defrosted one from the cafeteria, but it wasn't half bad. His phone buzzed, and his heart leapt, allowing himself to hope for a moment that it was Casey. But it was the fam, all crowded around the kitchen counter and singing to him through FaceTime. It made him happy and a little sad at the same time. He missed them the most at times like these, when he could see them but not be in the same room with them.

When Derek had settled in with his breakfast at the cafeteria, his phone buzzed again. He picked it up without thinking about who it was and his stomach did a full flip when he saw that it was Casey. His cupcake wish had worked. Insane.

But not that surprising. Casey was still the kind of person to do the right thing. And wishing her stepbrother a happy birthday was just plain old polite. She very well might still hate him, though.

He didn't let his mind drift to their last night together very often these days. In the beginning, he had fallen asleep replaying it every night, and that, coupled with being away from home for the first time and feeling all kinds of pressure to impress his teammates and coaches, not to mention get passing grades … well, his first semester of university hadn't exactly been a picnic. Things were going much better now that he was actively trying to get over her.

**NYCNYCNYC**

_Casey's walls were bare and all of her belongings were packed up, ready to be shipped to Dennis's apartment. On their last night at the Blue Heron Lodge, she had dropped a bomb on everyone—she had been offered the part of a dancer in a new Broadway show. With Jesse. _

_Derek had left the room immediately and shut himself in the bathroom, trying to fight a very confusing sense of panic. He splashed water on his face and stared at himself in the mirror, trying to modulate his breathing. He had suspected for awhile that he was falling in love with her, but his body's reaction was confirming it. If this was what love felt like, it sucked. He wanted her to be happy. He had wanted that for a long time. Her happiness was kind of at the forefront of his mind most days. But now it was directly interfering with his plans, in a very real way._

_He'd had this, like, fantasy. They'd go off to Queen's together, and, being far from home, they'd hang out every day and adjust to their new lives together. Then one night, when they were walking home from a party, he'd look at her, she'd look at him, he'd tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, and then all of a sudden, they would be kissing._

_It was a stupid fantasy anyway, and now it was dead. She was moving to New York with Jesse the Dance Machine and never looking back. He would have to get over her. It was that simple. _

_Yeah, right. _

_He could try fighting for her. Tell her how he felt, see if there was even a possibility that she felt the same way. _

_But there wasn't. How could there be, when she had been so excited about moving away from him? She couldn't leave him fast enough. He was obviously just her annoying stepbrother. _

_He didn't say much to her the entire drive back to London, or the next few days. On their last night at home, when he walked into her room, he almost wanted to cry. Almost. She was never going to fall for him, but they could try to stay friends, or whatever they were. A little bit of Casey in his life was better than none at all. _

"_Hey, Spacey. All packed?"_

_She looked up from her bed, where she had been sitting, looking at her phone. "To the last, you never learned to knock." She cocked her head at him and smiled, and he tried his best to smile back. _

"_That's me. Privacy be damned." He sat on the bed next to her. "Listen, I have to tell you something." _What am I doing?_ he screamed to himself. _Abort, abort!_ She was looking at him expectantly. "This is a terrible idea."_

"_What is?" she asked, her eyebrows knitting together. _

"_You going to New York." _Shut up shut up shut up.

"_Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?"_

_He stood up, glaring down at her. All of a sudden he was furious, and blowing up at her was the only outlet. "You can't make it as a dancer, Casey! Who are you kidding? You're good, but to try to do it on Broadway?"_

_Casey stood too. "Are you serious right now? Thanks a lot. Real supportive, bro."_

"_Stepbro," he answered automatically, barreling on, knowing he shouldn't, but not able to stop. "You're going to regret this. You're not ready. To go from dancing in dinky little classes here to in front of hundreds of people? And people think _I_ have delusions of grandeur."_

_Casey's eyes were welling up, but she didn't start crying. She was clearly furious too. "I didn't know you hated me that much. I know you're scared of failing out of university because you're not very smart, but you don't have to take it out on me." _

_That stung. Did she really think he wasn't smart? "This isn't about me! This is about you making a terrible decision and me trying to stop you!"_

"_Stop me? It's done. I'm going. If you really wanted to talk me out of it, which I wouldn't have listened to anyway, you should have done it sooner." _

_Her voice had faltered a bit when she said she wouldn't have listened to him. The fact was, they both knew she _did _value his opinion. Why had he waited this long? He really _wasn't_ very smart. He had completely missed his chance. "Well maybe I should have told Jesse to talk you out of it. You're all about him now." He was being such a jerk. But he couldn't figure out how to stop talking. _

"_This has nothing to do with Jesse! Leave him out of this!"_

"_It has everything do with Jesse! Do you really think they would have wanted you if he wasn't there making you look good? They thought you were a package deal—that's the only reason they asked you to be in it." Derek regretted the words right away, but he was too angry to take them back._

_Casey sank onto her bed. "Is that really what you think?" she asked, her voice very quiet. _

_Derek shuffled his feet. "Casey—" _

_Apparently, he hadn't answered fast enough. "Get out," she said icily. _

_He stepped closer to her, but she recoiled, and he held up his hands, at a loss for words. _

"_Don't come crawling to me when you fail out of Queen's. Get out of my room." She turned away from him, and he stood staring at her, not sure what to say. "Now!" she yelled, clearly crying and not wanting him to see. _

_He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yeah, well, by this time next year you'll be back in this bedroom, crying your eyes out over your failed career." _

_He slammed her door on the way out and barely made it to his bedroom before tears blurred his vision. He wiped them away, determined not to cry. She had never made him cry before. It took a moment, but he was able to compose himself. This had been a bad fight. But they had fought before, so there was no reason to think they wouldn't brush it off and get on with their lives._

_But the next morning, she had left for the airport before he woke up, and his first and only text to her—_Have a good flight_—went unanswered._

**NYCNYCNYC**

Derek replied to Casey's birthday text right away. He couldn't believe how much one message could affect him. He felt tingly all over. She had reached out with an olive branch, and he was going to hang on to it for dear life. Before he could think too hard about it, he FaceTimed her.

"Well, well, well, enjoying our breakfast?" he said as soon as they connected. He got a good look at her. Holy shit. She was way too thin, and so pale. "You look like crap, Case."

"Thanks a lot," she fumed.

_Good job, Der_, he chided himself. He had pissed her off within three seconds of their first conversation. "You okay? You sick or something?"

She had been staring at him, and his heart swelled a little bit as they looked at each other. He had really missed her. "I've been really busy and not sleeping well lately," she said a little sheepishly. He watched her fidget, clearly searching for something else to say. "I'm starting to feel better now."

He shoved a huge forkful of pancake into his mouth and chewed, trying to gauge her headspace. She looked down at his plate. "Aren't you going to eat? It'll get cold," he said. He didn't want to hang up, but he also really wanted to eat his breakfast.

Casey looked up at him. "Do you want to call me back?"

He set the phone down so she could only see his plate and people walking by behind him. "Nope. I'm trying to have a very nice birthday breakfast here, Case. Stop ruining it." He smiled to himself.

They ate in silence for a few minutes. It was oddly comforting, like something they would have done back home. A girl Derek had been flirting with in his film class stopped by his table to wish him happy birthday. He had been thinking about asking her out, but now that he was on the phone with Casey the idea didn't appeal to him at all. He knew it was wildly unhealthy, but he didn't care.

"Did you hear from anyone else in the family yet today?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, they all FaceTimed me this morning. And they sent a package with food and stuff. Lizzie knitted me yet another scarf." He smiled, thinking of her improved skills.

"And Marti and Edwin?" Casey asked.

"Marti drew me some things for my dorm. She's actually getting pretty good at sketching. And Ed got me Leafs tickets. We're gonna go to a game on my spring break."

Casey picked up her phone so her face was visible again. He saw what she was doing and did the same. "That's so cool. Ed and Lizzie are coming to visit me tomorrow," she shared.

"Nora is letting them miss school? I'm impressed." He chuckled. "You know Simon is gonna be able to get away with murder."

Casey smiled. "Of course. But you know he's got a fifty-fifty shot of being a keener like me."

"Not a chance, McDonald. I'm gonna teach him everything he knows." It felt so good to be joking around with her again. "Hey, I saw some clips of your show on YouTube. It looks really good."

Casey made a face. God, she was so predictable. It was adorable. "Relax, Space Case. They were _legal _clips." He rolled his eyes. "You know, behind-the-scenes stuff with the cast."

"Oh. Yeah, it's pretty incredible. I really like the whole company."

"The 'company'? You are such a theater snob." He did exaggerated finger quotes when he said "company," and she swished her hand at him dismissively.

"Whatever. Just because you insist on remaining an uncultured—"

Derek swallowed. He had hoped she had been disappointed not to see him at her show, and now she was confirming it. "I should have shown up," he said, cutting her off. "You know, when everyone came to see it." Suddenly he felt a little embarrassed. He should have been there to support her. He owed her an apology for that.

"That's not what I meant. I wasn't trying to say you should have."

"Oh." He met her eyes again. "Well, it's still true." He paused, trying to think of a way to get the conversation back to a safe topic. "This show is a big deal. All the girls here talk about it. If I had come, it would have given me an in, ya know?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Too bad. You'll just have to think of another way to impress them."

"Maybe I still could … you know … come see you in it?" Butterflies filled his stomach as he waited for her answer.

"Maybe …"

She didn't sound thrilled about the prospect. Maybe she was still more angry at him than he'd thought.

"Anyway, I should probably go. I have class soon."

Casey picked up her last strip of bacon. "Happy birthday, Derek. Cheers!" She lifted it toward her phone.

He smiled, toasting her back with his empty plate. "Thanks." He paused, butterflies flapping around again as he took a chance. "Talk soon?"

She nodded. "Sure."

He did a little happy dance when they hung up. She was letting him back into her life, and even though it was in a small way, he took it as a huge victory.


	6. A Heart-to-Heart

**Chapter 6: A Heart-to-Heart **

The first thing Casey did when she got back to the apartment was make a list of everything she wanted to do with Lizzie and Edwin. Then she made a list of everything she wanted to do in New York. Her dad had been inviting her out for months, and now she finally felt ready to take him up on the offers. And maybe she would even try to make friends here. There were a couple of people at the coffeehouse she liked, and there was this one guitarist who would come in during open mic nights who was really cute. He had been a little flirty, and she had tried her best to ignore him before. But now she felt like she might actually ask him out next time she saw him.

Talking to Derek had taken a huge weight off her chest. Neither of them had apologized, and they hadn't talked about their fight, but as long as Casey kept her secret, they wouldn't need to.

She decided to surprise her dad at his office. She would bake something and take it over. She knew her dad would get a kick out of showing her off.

**NYCNYCNYC**

That night, her dad was actually humming when he came home. It lifted her own mood to see him so happy. He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and thanked her again for the visit to his office.

Sinking onto the couch, he loosened his tie and dropped his briefcase. "So, what's the plan for with Liz and Ed tomorrow?"

"Their plane gets in around noon, so I'll pick them up and take them back here so we can catch up before meeting you for dinner. Can you make a reservation somewhere you think they'll like?"

"Certainly. What are you going to tell them about, you know …" He cleared his throat, obviously not wanting to upset her by mentioning Broadway.

"I'm going to tell them the truth. I thought about bribing them to stay quiet, but I think I just have to trust them not to tell anyone else."

Her dad raised his eyebrows. "I thought you didn't want anyone to know because of the embarrassment. Not that there's anything to be embarrassed about," he added quickly.

Casey took a deep breath and let it out before speaking. She would tell him the whole truth. He had proved trustworthy in keeping her secret, so he would keep this one too. "Dad, it's not that simple. There's something I didn't tell you."

He sat up and angled himself toward her. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"I … yes, it's embarrassing. I came here and imposed on you, and I know Queen's didn't give you guys a full tuition refund since I dropped out so late—I didn't want Mom or George or anyone to think coming here was a waste."

"Casey." Her dad moved to hug her and she let him. He pulled back and kept his hands on her shoulders. "First of all, you are not imposing on me. I love having you here. And second, don't worry about the money. You gave it a try, and it wasn't meant to be. There is nothing wrong with that. A lot of people would be too scared to even try. You moved to a different country to take a job doing what you love. There is no shame in failing if you gave it your all, which you did."

She wiped away a few tears as he talked, feeling even lighter than she had all day. But there was something more he needed to know. He didn't understand how complicated her relationship with Derek was, so maybe he wouldn't get it. But she wanted to tell him. "There's one more thing. Derek and I had a huge fight the night before I left. We said some terrible things to each other, which, I mean, we did that all the time. But this felt different. It was so much worse. He told me … he said I wouldn't last the year. That I would fail. And I proved him right. I can't have him saying I told you so. I can't let him know he was right."

Her dad's eyes widened. "He said that to you? This is the same guy who single-handedly fixed things between the two of us?" He gave her a small smile. They both knew that the night they had reconnected back in London was all thanks to him.

"Derek cares about me, in his own selfish way. He makes fun of me constantly, and he can be mean, but yeah, that was unusual for him. I wanted to tell you because that's why I feel so strongly about him not finding out. He would just make me feel bad all over again."

"Do you think—" he paused, clearly trying to choose his words carefully. "Casey, maybe he picked a fight with you that night because you were leaving. Maybe he subconsciously wanted to push you away so he wouldn't have to deal with the pain of losing you."

She had thought of that. But it just didn't make sense. He wasn't losing her, because there was nothing to lose. They barely had a friendship. "I don't think Derek is that deep, Dad."

He fidgeted with his tie. "Can I ask you an awkward question?"

Casey shrugged, wondering what he was getting at.

"When you talk about him, I almost get the sense—that is, it seems like it's possible that, you, um, that you and Derek have kind of a deep connection. Like you were dating or something." He didn't meet her eyes.

Oh, come on. This wasn't the first time someone had thought that about the two of them. But to come from her own father? Sure, Derek was handsome. Sure, they got along sometimes, especially when they were working together toward a common goal. And sometimes the way Derek's eyes lingered on her made her a little flustered, and she would have fleeting thoughts about what it would be like to kiss him, but it was totally acceptable to think that stuff about a hot guy. It didn't mean anything.

"It's not like that, Dad. Derek ended up being kind of important to me. But he drives me crazy. There is nothing romantic between us, trust me."

He held up his hands. "I believe you. I just hope you're wrong, that Derek saying such a cruel thing was out of fear and not his true feelings. I would hope he wouldn't make you feel worse about getting fi—what happened."

Casey hoped that too, but she knew he wouldn't pass up a chance to give her a hard time. "If I'm right, I don't want to put myself through that."

"I understand." Her dad hugged her again. "You know, I'm so happy you're here."

"Me too, Dad." She pulled out her phone. "I made a list of everything I want to do with you in the next few months. I'm finally feeling like myself again, and I want to make the most of my time with you."

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that."


	7. Telling the Truth

**Chapter 7: Telling the Truth**

The next morning, Casey took a Lyft to the airport, biting her lip and fiddling with her phone the entire way. She would have to tell Lizzie and Edwin soon; the anticipation was killing her. But she also hadn't seen them since September, so she wanted to make sure she didn't monopolize their reunion with her own problems.

The moment Lizzie came into view at Baggage Claim, Casey forgot all of her fears and ran into her arms. They shrieked and spin-hugged as Ed stood next to them, holding their backpacks and grinning. Casey looped him into a group hug and they jumped up and down, all a little giddy.

"I am _so_ glad you're here," Casey said, finally letting go of them.

"Us too. We might have missed you a little bit," Lizzie said. Ed handed over her backpack and she slung it over her shoulder as they headed outside. Casey could tell she was being looked up and down, and she steeled herself for a comment about her appearance. But Lizzie just met her eyes and gave her a warm smile. Edwin was busy chattering about the flight, and Casey snapped her attention to him. She had forgotten what it felt like to be surrounded by people she loved. She would tell them everything, and they would be there for her. Her mom had been right to send them.

**NYCNYCNYC**

"_You really should say something," Jesse said, massaging Casey's feet and looking at her with concern. _

"_No!" Casey burst out, then yelped when Jesse pressed too hard on her heel. _

"_Sorry, babe. But that's exactly what I'm talking about. It's something new every week."_

_Casey had been in varying levels of pain since the end of August. The past four months had been rough on her body—the intense dance training, which rolled right into eight shows a week, had left her completely drained. She was always hungry. She had to eat a lot to keep up her strength, but it was all healthy fats and protein and vegetables … she would kill for a Smelly Nelly's cheeseburger. She hadn't even enjoyed Christmas dinner with her Dad the other day because she was terrified to break her diet. If she gained any weight at all and couldn't fit in the costume, she would be fired. And she was going up to the maximum ibuprofen dose almost every day. But she needed to—dulling the aches and pains was the only way she could sleep. _

"_This feels like the beginnings of plantar fasciitis. You really should see a doctor. And I'm still concerned about those shin splints you keep getting." He frowned as he ran his hands along her legs. _

"_Jesse. Stop." Casey hopped up from the couch, wincing but otherwise trying to ignore the pain in her heels. "I promise I will rest on our next day off." _

_Jesse looked unconvinced, but they didn't have time to argue, since they had to get to the theater for that night's show._

_Casey grabbed her bag and followed Jesse out the door. She wasn't even looking forward to performing. She hadn't for a while. The adrenaline rush of the first few shows had propelled her forward, but now, it felt like a slog. She was going through the motions. There were fun times, of course, like when a celebrity came backstage, but overall Jesse was really the only good thing about her job. Their castmates were really nice, but she didn't feel like any of them could become true friends. They were all kind of intense about their craft, and Casey felt like the amateur outsider she was. Jesse fit right in, and it hurt to see him jump into conversations using jargon she didn't understand and would have to ask him about later. She didn't have the time or energy to catch up to everyone else's level. _

_During intermission that night, Casey longed to splash some water on her face and calm down a little in the bathroom, but she couldn't ruin her makeup. So she retreated to the corner of her shared dressing room and folded her legs up under her, putting her elbows on her knees and bringing her forehead down onto them. She was freaking out a little—it was the fifth night in the row she had missed one of her cues, and she knew the audience probably hadn't noticed. But still, she was being paid to be perfect, and she just … wasn't. She always had particular trouble with a combination in the second act, and she was dreading it tonight, knowing she was already off her game. Every muscle she had seemed to be throbbing, and her heels felt like they were on fire every time she took a step. _

"_Casey?"_

_She felt a hand on her shoulder and lifted her head to see a fellow dancer, Courtney, crouching in front of her. "You okay?"_

"_I just needed to disappear for a minute," Casey said, embarrassed. _

_Courtney straightened up. "I understand that." She gave her a sympathetic smile and held out a bottle. "Why don't you have some water?"_

_Casey thanked her and took it gratefully, taking small sips. She didn't want the feeling of water sloshing around in her stomach on top of everything else that was wrong. _

_The announcement that intermission was ending came over the intercom, and Casey got shakily to her feet. She grimaced when she put weight on her foot, and Courtney saw. "You're not okay. Casey, I think you should—" _

"_Thanks, but really, I'm fine," Casey said firmly, hoping that if she said it enough, it would come true. If she saw a doctor, she knew what they would say, and she couldn't afford to take time off from the show, in terms of money or dance training. And it would make her feel even further away from Jesse. _

_She tried not to think about her relationship. Things were good, for the most part, but she wasn't sure how to fix the parts that weren't. Going on bed rest or something would make her feel pitiful, and although he would take good care of her, he needed to concentrate on his own health and give 100% to the show. He had finally made it to Broadway, and she couldn't jeopardize his dream in any way. _

_During the second act, Casey tripped over her own feet and fell into Courtney, who landed on Jesse, who knocked over a piece of scenery. Luckily the audience wasn't aware of the disruption, because the dancers were in shadow during the number and the leads were under spotlights. But she felt awful nonetheless, and she was distracted for the rest of the show. When they took their curtain call, she was openly sobbing. All of the frustration of the last four months began pouring out of her—the pain, the guilt, the knowledge that she wasn't good enough … The rest of the night passed in a blur. One of the producers asked to see her. He said some nice things about how he was sure she had tried her hardest, and he wished her luck, but they could no longer keep her in the production—they couldn't afford the potential destruction of property. There was nothing she could do to change his mind—not that she wanted to. She was done with Broadway. Or rather, Broadway was done with her. _

**NYCNYCNYC**

Lizzie and Edwin stared at her, their mouths open in shock. They had just gotten back from the airport, and she had sat them down and spilled the whole gory story.

"I'm so sorry, Case," Lizzie said, moving over next to her on the couch and giving her a hug. "But I am so proud of you."

"Proud? I have never screwed up so badly in my entire life."

Edwin steepled his fingers and looked at her intently. "So what? Everyone's got to sometime; this was just your turn."

Casey looked at each of them. "I just told you the worst thing I have ever done, and you're not disappointed in me?"

Lizzie hugged her again. "Of course not. I mean, it sucks, and I feel bad that it happened to you, but I don't think you did anything wrong. Well, except maybe dancing injured. That was so dangerous, Case. You could have permanently hurt yourself."

Casey cringed. "I know, I know."

Edwin came to sit on her other side, and awkwardly chucked her on the arm. "Cut yourself some slack, sis. I'm glad you told us the truth. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

Casey let out a sob, and she held onto her siblings for dear life as she let herself cry. Lizzie stroked her hair, and Edwin kept patting her knee, obviously not sure what else to do. She pulled herself together and told them the rest of it—feeling so depressed she could barely get out of bed, finding the job at the coffeehouse, the talk with her dad, and the decision to get her life back on track. "And, actually, Derek and I are talking again."

"What?!" Ed and Liz said in unison. They exchanged excited looks and Casey smiled. She knew it would make it easier on the rest of the family if they didn't have to tiptoe around talking about him with her anymore, but she still had to ask them to keep her secret.

"We talked on his birthday. We didn't talk about our fight, but things felt kind of normal between us." She had told Lizzie the gist of their argument right after it happened, and she figured they had heard Derek's side of it, or at least a version of Derek's side of it. She really didn't feel like getting back into it, but she had to. "Listen, I have to ask you guys a favor. I can't let Derek find out that I'm not in the show anymore. He has to keep thinking I'm there until August. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Mom, George, or Marti, either. There's too big a risk they would slip up and say something to Derek."

"Paranoid, much?" Edwin muttered, and Casey glared at him.

"There's a _reason_, okay? The night I before I left, he said some really mean things about me not making it on Broadway, and, well, he was right. I don't want to give him the satisfaction."

Lizzie frowned. "I understand, Case, I really do, but you're telling me you're talking to him again and you're prepared to lie to him for another, what, six months? He knows you better than that. It's not worth it."

"I don't have a choice, Liz. He's busy with university, anyway. He's not even thinking about what I'm doing. It will be easy." She knew that wasn't exactly true, judging by their previous FaceTime conversation, but she hoped it would _get_ easier.

Lizzie and Edwin exchanged a look she couldn't interpret.

Lizzie bit her lip. "I don't know, Casey—I don't want to go back home and lie to everyone about this. What do we say if they ask if we saw your show?"

"You say you did and it was great. End of conversation."

"That's not like you," Edwin said quietly. "You're telling us to lie to our parents."

Casey wrinkled her nose. "I know. I don't like it. But I hate having to relive that night every time I talk about it. I'll tell them eventually, when I'm ready. I promise. I'm just not ready yet."

They didn't look convinced.

"Casey, you know I'll support you no matter what," Lizzie finally said. She glared daggers at Edwin until he agreed.

_Well, that could have gone a lot worse_, Casey thought.


	8. Step by Step

**Chapter 8: Step by Step **

When Lizzie and Edwin left on Monday, Casey clung to the warm-and-fuzzy feeling she had after hanging out with them all weekend and decided to try to enjoy her night at work. She walked into the coffeehouse, head held high, and said hello to her co-workers with a smile.

Jasmine was the only one who smiled back. "You're in a good mood, Casey."

"Yeah. I was going through some stuff, but now I'm feeling more like myself." She had always thought Jasmine was nice, so she decided then and there to get to know her better.

"I'm glad to hear that." Jasmine smiled again, and Casey screwed up her courage.

"You want to maybe hang out on our break tonight?" She held her breath, feeling like the new girl in school again.

Jasmine nodded, looking serious. "Girl, you have no idea how long I've waited to have someone to talk to about these"—she lowered her voice—"obnoxious customers."

They both giggled, and Casey's heart swelled. Step 1, make friends, was officially a go.

Her mood improved even more later in her shift when she noticed a flyer for the NYU summer session on the bulletin board. Ever since she had seen Derek in the Queen's cafeteria, a little voice in the back of her head had been telling her she should really go back to school. This was perfect timing. She took a picture of the flyer and decided to apply when she got home. Step 2, figure out a future career, had just been helped along by accident.

**NYCNYCNYC**

Two weeks later, Casey looked in the mirror and noticed that her skin was looking healthier, the dark circles were gone from under her eyes, and she knew without stepping on the scale that she had gained some weight back. She hated to be so vain, but it felt great to be looking like herself again. Even better, she and Jasmine were going to see a band that night after work, and she was looking forward to the excuse to get dressed up and put on some extra makeup. Her sparkly blue eyeshadow had been put away for far too long.

She FaceTimed Derek while brushing her teeth, figuring he would probably just be getting up. Sure enough, he answered with the camera pointed toward the ceiling. "Trying to catch me naked, Spacey?"

She rolled her eyes, ignoring the little flip of her stomach when she pictured him shirtless in bed.

Derek spun the phone around, making her dizzy. She caught a glimpse of him tugging on a T-shirt. He finally pointed the camera toward himself and said hello.

"Good morning," she said through a mouthful of toothpaste. She held the camera close to her face as she spit into the sink.

"Gross!" He laughed.

"Oh, please, you don't think it's gross. Isn't that the kind of stuff you and Edwin FaceTime each other?" she said after rinsing and wiping her mouth. She set the phone on the shelf next to her and began brushing her hair.

"Well, yeah, but …" he trailed off, blushing for some reason.

"Take what you can get. I'm not going to have a burping contest with you or anything."

"I just meant … I don't need to do that kind of stuff with you. We can just talk. Can ya stop brushing your hair for two seconds?" He sounded annoyed, so she put down her brush and looked at him.

"What?"

"Lemme get a look at you. You look happy." His voice went up at the end, almost like it was a question.

Casey rolled her eyes. "I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Shouldn't I be happy?"

Derek let out a huffy breath. "I'm trying to say _pretty_, okay? You look, you know, good." He blushed furiously and she pretended not to notice. It was a relief that Derek could see the changes in her. It was an instant mood booster.

"Oh." She did a little curtsy. "Well, thank you." And she blushed at the way he was looking at her.

She had been thinking about him recently, wanting to talk again, and she was glad they could. But this was getting uncomfortable. "Do you have to go to class soon?"

"Nah, not for a few hours. You going somewhere?"

"Not until work later." She hoped he wouldn't want to hear about "work." She had kept eye contact as she said it, and he didn't seem to notice anything amiss. "I thought maybe you could give me a campus tour. If you want."

Derek smiled. "Yeah, cool. Wait until you see the library. There's this room with a stained-glass window that looks like it's part of Hogwarts."

"You know what the library looks like?"

"Hardy-har-har." He stuck his tongue out at her.

"Lead the way, Madam Pince."

Derek cracked up. "Who the heck is that?"

"The Hogwarts librarian, duh." Her stomach tightened. She hadn't meant to call him out for not knowing something. She tried not to think about their fight, when she'd said he wasn't smart. She hadn't meant it.

But he just shook his head and looked at her with something resembling affection. "God, you're such a dork."

**NYCNYCNYC**

They spent so much time on FaceTime that Derek's battery started to die and he had to scramble to find a charger. She sat back on the couch and waited for his phone to power up enough to keep talking. She had seen quite a bit of campus so far, and spent the whole time feeling just the slightest bit jealous. She would be having so much fun there, she knew. But she couldn't look back. If she had gone to Queen's, she would have always wondered whether she should have gone to New York. But seeing Derek so happy there, knowing she had denied them the chance to experience it for the first time together, still stung a little.

In addition to applying for the NYU summer session, she had re-applied to Queen's (that was Step 2a). Her request to defer for a year hadn't been granted, so she'd lost her tuition deposit (well, her parents' deposit), but she hoped that being accepted once already would help her chances this time around. She'd finally taken her dad's advice to see a therapist, and he was no Paul, but he had given her the idea to write about her experiences of the last few months. It turned out to be very therapeutic—and the perfect admissions essay.

She'd only gone to the therapist once, but he was there if she needed him. Her dad had been so happy when she'd asked for his help finding someone. She knew it made him feel close to her when he could do things like that.

That was Step 3, to make the most of her time in New York. That included as much bonding time with her dad as possible. They'd already gone to a few museums, and he'd promised her many more typically touristy outings when the weather got nicer. And he knew all of the best, non-touristy places to eat.

Derek's face came back into view. "Okay, now I've got 10%, so that should be enough to get back to my dorm charger," he said as he walked briskly out of the building he'd been in. "Then I should probably get my stuff for class."

Casey tried not to let her disappointment show on her face. "Oh, yeah, I kind of forgot about that."

Derek grinned. "I could skip …"

"Don't you dare, Venturi," she scolded him.

He shrugged. "Worth a shot."

They smiled at each other, and she couldn't help but think for the millionth time how much she had missed him.


	9. Guitar Guy

**Chapter 9: Guitar Guy**

"What about this one?" Jasmine asked, holding up yet another dress.

Casey groaned. "I could never pull that off."

Jasmine put it back on the rack. "You're a real pain in the ass to go shopping with, you know that?" She narrowed her eyes, but she was smiling.

Casey nudged her arm playfully. "I warned you!"

"Do you want to forget the whole thing?"

"No, no. I do want to talk to guitar guy. But then I'm remembering that it's March, and it's freezing, and I would have to work all night in something so slinky."

Jasmine considered the dress again. "Yeah, it's probably against the dress code anyway."

They didn't really have a strict dress code, but it was only practical to wear something functional under their aprons. Casey was hoping to run into the cute guitarist at the coffeehouse's next open mic night, which was that Friday. She was determined to ask him out, and thought a new dress might make her feel more confident, but after shopping for over an hour, she hadn't found anything she liked in her price range.

"Here, how about this?" Jasmine handed her a folded dress that looked very soft. "This is really sexy—I don't know if you could handle it."

"Let me see." Casey unfolded it and realized it was a caftan. "Very funny." She smacked Jasmine with it and they both cracked up.

**NYCNYCNYC**

Casey tried not to focus too much on seeing guitar guy. For once, she wasn't obsessing or overthinking. She would see what happened—if it didn't work out, she hadn't been that invested anyway.

After his set that Friday, she went up to him. He flashed her his brilliant smile, showing bright white teeth. "You were really good," she told him.

"Yeah?" He swished his bangs out of his eyes. "Thanks."

"Can I get you a refill? You were drinking a cappuccino, right?"

"I'm good. If I have any more this late, I won't sleep."

"Well, that's too bad. I was going to ask if you wanted to join me for a drink while I take my break." Casey was so proud of herself for getting that out. She could tell she was blushing.

He looked up from putting his guitar away. "Oh, that's a different story." He grinned. "I can always have a biscotti."

She smiled back and gave Jasmine a discreet thumb's up from across the room.

**NYCNYCNYC**

When she came home from work, she remembered that her dad was out with friends, so she had the apartment to herself. She flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV, looking for something silly to relax with.

But she couldn't even concentrate on a generic reality show. She kept thinking about guitar guy, whose name was Brian. (So much for not obsessing.) They had chatted during Casey's break, she'd said all the right things, and she'd felt really pretty in her regular old jeans and sweater. He seemed very nice.

So why didn't she give him her number? Why wasn't she the least bit excited about seeing him at the next open mic?

He was just kind of … boring. There wasn't a spark.

Which was fine. She didn't have to feel obligated to go out with every guy she thought was cute.

Because he was. Cute.

But for some reason she kept picturing how she had seen Derek putting on his shirt on FaceTime.

She grabbed the closest pillow and growled into it. This had nothing to do with Derek!

She really, really wanted to talk to him, though. Maybe he could help her figure out why Brian just wasn't doing anything for her.

She checked her phone. It was late enough that he would think she was coming home from the theater. But her apron had to go. She quickly threw on pajamas and scrubbed the makeup off her face, then returned to the couch and put the TV on mute. She had to look casual.

Pausing with her finger on the button, she realized she had been the one to call him last time. Maybe she should wait for him to initiate the next one. But she realized she didn't want to play that game. She wanted to talk to him now, and he'd answer if he felt the same. She pressed his name.

"Some people have to study at night, you know," he said when they connected, focusing the camera on a textbook in front of him on his desk.

"Why did you answer if you have to study?"

"Because you're more fun than Intro to Biology." He pivoted the phone to his face, showing him crossing his eyes and pretending to tear out his hair.

She bit back a laugh, not wanting to encourage him.

"Hi, Casey!" a voice called from the other side of the room.

"Hi, Sam!" she called back. "I didn't mean to disturb you guys."

Derek turned the phone to face Sam at his desk. "No, it's good to see you," Sam said. "We'll have to catch up soon." He waved, and Derek flipped the screen back to his own face.

"I'm going to go out in the hall," Derek told both of them.

Casey wanted to protest, but she didn't, because she didn't want him to hang up. Instead she called goodbye to Sam. They had texted back and forth a bit since she'd come to New York, but like with everyone else, she'd talked to him less lately. She'd have to message him again soon. But for now, she was watching Derek close their dorm room door and walk to the end of the hallway, where he sat on a bench near the door to the stairwell.

"So, what's up?" he asked.

"Nothing much. Just figured I'd see if you were free. I know you must be busy, with spring break coming up soon."

"Kind of, yeah. You must be so tired, though. What made you think to call right now?"

He was eyeing her suspiciously, but Casey made sure to keep her expression normal. "I can't just call when I feel like it? I'm usually pretty wired after shows." It wasn't a lie, technically.

Derek ran his hand over his face. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm glad you called. _I'm_ the one who's tired. I have so much work. University is kind of a bummer sometimes." He gave her a sideways smile.

Wow, he really must be exhausted, she thought. He had actually apologized for something, and he seemed very subdued.

She leaned back against the couch and propped the phone on a pillow. "Tell me about it. Maybe I can give you some study tips."

"Nah, I'd rather hear about your night. Any backstage drama?"

Casey sighed inwardly. Her stomach was instantly in knots. But she had no choice but to keep, well, manipulating the truth. "Not really. There's this guy I thought I liked, but then we started talking and now I'm kind of over him."

Derek perked up. "Wait, what? You're not with Jesse?"

Casey froze. She couldn't believe he hadn't found out, since her family did know that part. But her mom and Lizzie and Edwin must not have mentioned it. "Yeah. Since the end of December." She saw the surprise on his face turn to concern. "It was mutual, though. Really. The relationship had kind of run its course."

"No one told me."

He still seemed concerned, but it seemed to be more about not knowing than the actual breakup. She didn't feel offended, though, because she was the one who'd said it wasn't a big deal. And she was kind of relieved he wasn't saying anything snarky about Jesse. "Well, we weren't really talking at the time, and I think our family doesn't want to get in the middle of things." She held her breath, waiting for his response.

His eyes softened as he watched her. "That makes sense." He looked down. "I'm really glad we're talking now."

"Me too." It was her turn to tear her eyes away from him, but she made eye contact again quickly. "I didn't want to waste any more time. I need you in my life, Der." It was a gamble, getting mushy with him, but she didn't care.

"Good. Most people feel that way," he joked, but his face fell when she glared at him. "I'm kidding. I really missed you, and I feel the same way." He looked surprised at himself for admitting it.

She was surprised too, but she tried not to show it. She decided to bring the conversation back to safer territory. "Um, so, I need dating advice."

He groaned. "Unfortunately, I can't help you there. I'm not exactly hitting it out of the park in that department."

"You aren't?" She ignored the swooping sensation in her stomach.

"You don't have to look so happy about it," he said grumpily.

"Sorry." She bit her lip. "Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing, that's the point. I haven't met anybody interesting, that's all."

"Oh. I'm having the same problem."

They stared at each other.

Casey started to get uncomfortable, so she broke the silence. "Maybe that's okay. Someone will come along when we least expect it. We're busy, and it would have to be someone really worth our time."

Derek ran a hand through his hair, and his voice cracked a little as he said, "That is very wise." He winked at her, and she giggled, then regretted it—it sounded way too flirty.

It was time to take step back. "I should let you get back to studying."

Derek nodded, looking disappointed. "I hate to agree with you, but I'm going to be responsible."

Casey gave him an encouraging smile. "Good boy."

He stuck his tongue out at her and hung up. He immediately sent her a GIF of a frantic Spongebob smacking himself in the face with a book, and she sent back a graduation cap emoji.

Casey stared at the TV for awhile, not really seeing it. She couldn't stop thinking about what she'd said—that either of them dating would mean they'd found someone worth their time. So what did it mean that she spent most of _her_ time thinking about when she would get to talk to Derek again?

The answer was there, but she didn't want to acknowledge it. She hugged the pillow and sighed. Her relationship with Derek had suddenly gotten even more complicated than it already was.


	10. Feelings

**Chapter 10: Feelings**

When Casey woke up, her realization of the previous night came at her full-force. Did she really have a crush on _Derek_? She knew as well as anyone that she couldn't help who she fell for. This seemed so ridiculous, though. It was _Derek_.

But then again, she thought of that old phrase: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe it was true for her stepbrother. For all she knew, this was just temporary. She was confusing missing him with _liking_ him.

And then she thought about how many times over the last year—at least that, maybe more—that she had contemplated what it would be like to be with him in that way. It had never scared her before, because the idea seemed so out there. It was just harmless fantasizing. Now, there was no reason why it couldn't be an actual possibility.

What was she thinking? Of course it couldn't be—they were stepsiblings; they had horrible fights, one of which had led to six months of no contact; and anyway, it depended on whether Derek even felt the same way.

She thought about all of the times a pause in conversation had turned awkward because of the way he was looking at her. She couldn't read his mind, but it was obviously that _something_ was passing between them. She thought about how much he liked to tease her, and how he always seemed to show off when she was around. How he had pulled her out of Jesse's arms to dance with her at the lodge last summer. How he really had seemed distressed when it sank in that she was leaving for New York. Maybe her dad had been right after all—he had channeled his feelings into being really mean to her. Leaving, and being away from each other, had been harder than they'd expected. Neither of them had wanted to deal with the pain, so they just … didn't talk.

She'd had Jesse and the show to keep her mind off of missing him, but now that those things weren't occupying her energy, she was longing for their relationship to get back to what it had been. They weren't dating, but their connection was undeniably intense. It wasn't such a far-fetched idea that their friendship could turn into something else, if they wanted it to.

**NYCNYCNYC**

Her dad was in the kitchen eating breakfast when she came out to rummage for some cereal. "Hi, sweetheart. How are you?"

"Good," Casey said distractedly, thoughts still swirling around.

Her dad caught her by the arm. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked softly.

It was no use trying to pretend. She walked around the table and sat across from him. She couldn't believe she was about to tell her dad this, but they had gotten so much closer in the last few weeks. And he had proved himself trustworthy.

"Dad, you know that thing you said about getting the impression that Derek and I are a couple?"

He snapped his attention away from his bowl and stared at her. "Yes …"

She screwed up her courage. "Would that be a completely crazy idea?"

He let out a sigh and stretched out his arms, pushing away from the table. "Ohhh, boy. I did not expect that at all. Where is this coming from?"

"We … we sort of made up, and I still didn't tell him about getting fired, but we've been FaceTiming. Seeing him again after so much time, my feelings for him I guess came back, and now I'm realizing they aren't exactly … sisterly feelings."

"Ah." He looked at her, trying to read her expression, but she knew she just looked anxious. "Sweetheart, that makes sense. You and Derek weren't raised like brother and sister. Like you said before, he can be selfish, but overall, he's done a pretty good job of being there for you, right?"

"Yes." She thought back to that night her dad first met Derek, when her dinner had gone so horribly wrong. The first thing her dad and Derek had said to each other was how gullible Casey was. They had liked each other right away. Derek had been the bane of her existence back then. Everything he did got on her nerves. There had been a few times, just a few, when he'd shown himself to be a normal human being. But most of the time he was an immature jerk. And then that night, he went ahead and checked on her when she was upset, tried to make her feel better, and called her dad to come back to the house and make things right. At the time, she hadn't read anything into it, but now, she was wondering if his feelings for her hadn't exactly been brotherly, either. There had to be a reason they were both so insistent on adding the "step" part whenever they referred to each other.

Casey looked at her dad, and he laid a hand on top of hers on the table. "Casey, he has some maturing to do, but he's a good person. I think if you want to be with Derek, you shouldn't let anything stop you."

Casey's eyes welled up, and she laughed at herself as she wiped the tears away with her free hand. "I feel like all I've done in this apartment is cry."

Her dad patted her hand. "Don't worry, I can handle it."

"I'm not sure yet what I want. It's so confusing."

"And that's okay. You don't have to have all the answers right now. You're going to take some classes, talk to Derek on FaceTime, hang out with your dear old dad, and enjoy yourself until August. You don't have to make any decisions until then."

Casey brightened. "You're right."

He stood up and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. "Any guy, Derek included, would be lucky to be with you. You know that, right?"

Casey rolled her eyes. "Dad, come on."

He didn't move, waiting for her to answer him.

"Yes, I know that."

They exchanged a smile. She felt a lot better. Her dad was right—she didn't have to make any decisions right now.


	11. The Second Ambush

**Chapter 11: The Second Ambush**

Trying to stop her feelings for Derek from clouding everything was easier said than done. Her dad had been right, though—she was going to concentrate on enjoying herself as much as possible. She didn't want to waste time she was spending with her dad thinking about what could happen in August. Derek had FaceTimed her the day after her talk with her dad, and she had managed to act normally, or as normally as she could knowing she was still lying to him. He was a big part of her life; that hadn't changed.

A little more than a week later, Casey had picked up a double shift and was just finishing closing up the coffeehouse with Jasmine when Jesse knocked on the door. She had been so busy all day that she hadn't even had time to check her phone, let alone notice if he had walked by on the way to the theater. But here he was, where she couldn't pretend to ignore him.

Jasmine looked up as Casey went to unlock the door. "Who's that?"

"My ex," Casey said, surprising herself with how calm she felt.

Jasmine, who knew about their history, let out a low whistle. "I'm gonna go finish up in the back."

Casey didn't even hear her as she locked eyes with Jesse and opened the door. "Hi."

"Hi, Case. Can I come in for a minute?"

"Um, sure. We're just—" she motioned back to Jasmine, then realized she wasn't there. "Never mind."

Jesse tugged on his duffel bag nervously as he stepped into the coffeehouse. "This is awkward, but—"

"I'm glad to see you. I see you walking by sometimes and I want to wave or something and then I chicken out—"

He said, "No, that's not what … I do too—"

"Sorry, I shouldn't have cut you off," Casey said at the same time.

They looked at each other, Casey's cheeks burning.

"Please, continue what you were going to say." She started to lead them to a table but he motioned to stop her.

"Casey, I need to explain what's going on. Derek showed up tonight."

She couldn't respond. It felt like all of the air had been sucked from her lungs.

"Derek saw the show and tried to come backstage, wondering why you weren't there. I had to tell him," he shook his head sadly, "that you got fired. I can't believe I had to be the one to tell him." He shuffled his feet, and Casey gaped at him in shock. "He was trying to surprise you. I figured I'd take him to your dad's place, but since we saw the lights on, I decided maybe ambushing you here was better than at home." He shrugged. "I didn't know what to do."

"Derek is … here? In New York?" Casey suddenly remembered that she had to breathe, and she took several gulping breaths. "Where is he now?"

"Outside. He's really pissed off, so I wanted to warn you." He folded his arms. "With good reason. The guy paid a hundred bucks to see you and you weren't there, not to mention the plane ticket."

"That's not fair! I didn't ask him to come!"

He held up his hands. "You're right, you're right. It's none of my business."

Casey bit her lip. He was just the messenger, and, well, he had a point. "Thank you for warning me. I appreciate that."

"Sure." He looked down. "Hey … next time you want to wave to me, you can. And I'll do the same. I'd like that."

"Cool." Casey wasn't sure what else to say. She honestly felt she would be fine waving at him, interacting in passing now and then. Seeing him in person now confirmed that she was completely over him. He was a nice guy, and there was no reason they couldn't be friendly. "I'd like that too."

Jesse turned to go and Casey steeled herself as she saw Derek lurking outside. Jesse held the door open for him and said goodbye to both of them, then disappeared into the night.

The next thing she knew, she and Derek were facing each other, looking anywhere but each other's eyes.

Casey screwed up her courage and let out a shaky breath. "Let's talk at home, okay? My friend Jasmine is still here, and we need to finish cleaning up."

Derek stared at the wall, not saying anything, while she headed toward the back room. Jasmine jumped backward when she entered—she had obviously been trying to listen at the door, and she didn't look the least bit guilty about it.

"What is going on? Why did he show up out of the blue like that?"

"He was dropping off my stepbrother, who decided to surprise me," Casey said, feeling hysterical. She almost felt like laughing. The thing she had worried so much about had come true, and now she had to confront it. And she couldn't process it at the moment.

"The stepbrother who doesn't know you work here?" Jasmine asked, eyes widening.

"Yes, and he's really angry." It was only then that Casey thought to check her phone, and she had three missed calls from her dad. He was at a work meeting until late, so he'd stopped trying to call about two hours ago. Too bad he hadn't looked up the number for the coffeehouse. She had a text from him: _Sweetheart, I just heard from Derek. He decided on a whim to come down here and see your show now that it's his spring break. He left me a voicemail asking if I would mind if he stayed over tonight, but I didn't get it in time to stop him. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. I'm so sorry. I'll be home by midnight. _

She handed Jasmine the text and tried to ignore the ten-ton boulder pressing on her chest. How could she go out there and face him?

Jasmine clocked them both out and dragged Casey to the door. She turned out the lights and gently pushed her into the coffeehouse. Casey tried to ignore her pounding heart and shaking hands and led Jasmine to Derek, who didn't turn around.

"Derek," she cleared her throat, which had gone completely dry. "This is Jasmine. We're ready to go."

Jasmine waved awkwardly at Derek when he turned slightly to nod at her. Casey noticed that the hands clutching his backpack straps were white, and he had a wild look in his eyes. She cringed, but didn't say anything.

Casey turned off the rest of the lights and Jasmine set the alarm and locked the main door as they headed out in silence. All too soon, Jasmine turned off to go into the subway, and Casey was left alone with Derek.

She was having an anxiety attack. She hadn't had one since high school, and of course there was no paper bag to breathe into or Emily or Paul to talk her through it. Derek was good at calming her, too, but obviously he wasn't an option right now either.

He stomped ahead of her and then must have realized he didn't know where he was going, so he waited for her and they fell into step beside each other again. She could feel the anger radiating off of him, and it wasn't helping, so she tried to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. She had to ignore her shortness of breath and swirling thoughts. It felt like someone was setting off fireworks in her head, but she kept blinking and focusing on her feet. Almost home. Left foot. Almost home. Right foot. In the building. Up the elevator. At the door. Hands shaking as she fumbled for her key, Derek looming behind her impatiently. In the apartment.


	12. No More Secrets

**Chapter 12: No More Secrets**

The moment the door swung shut behind them, Derek rounded on Casey, arms folded. He didn't say a word, but he glared at her, seething.

A weird calm came over her. This was the thing she had been fearing, and yet, she was breathing regularly now and her heartbeat had returned to normal. Maybe because the anxiety of it had been so much worse than what was actually happening. She could take Derek glaring at her, because she had expected yelling. A frantic, totally exasperated, "Don't talk to me, talk to Vicky" explosion. But that hadn't come. He was silent.

Maybe that was worse. But she wasn't afraid of Derek. They had been through so much together. They could get through this, too. "Go ahead," she said.

"I don't know where to start," he said petulantly, still glaring.

"How about you fill me in on the last few hours?" She took off her coat and apron, kicked off her shoes, headed into the kitchen (he dropped his backpack and followed silently), and poured them each a glass of water, more for something to do with her hands than because she was thirsty. Her hands were steady as she put both glasses on the table and stood looking at him.

They faced off for a few tense moments, and then he let out a loud, frustrated growl and ran his hands through his hair. "Fine."

He slid into the nearest chair, and she did the same. He told her about coming back from Toronto with Edwin and realizing that with five more days of spring break left, this was the perfect time to visit her. He quickly bought the plane and show tickets on his credit card and flew out the next morning. He tried calling Dennis from the airport, realizing he would need a place to stay, but her dad didn't answer. Derek looked for her in the playbill and on stage and she was nowhere to be found. So he had to hear about what happened from Jesse (whose name he said with the usual derision). "Here I was, trying to do something ro—" he quickly swallowed what he had been about to say and changed course. "I just don't understand why you wouldn't tell me you weren't in the show anymore."

_Had he been about to say "romantic"?_ Casey thought, her heart speeding up again. She took a sip of her water, buying herself time. This was it. She was about to relive her humiliation yet again. She put down her glass and rubbed her thumbs around the rim, searching for the right words. "I should have told you I got fired. But I have a good reason why I didn't."

"You _better_ have a good reason," he said.

She told him the whole story, and he softened considerably as she talked, making sympathetic sounds in all the right places. "Look, I was embarrassed. I didn't want to have to face everyone knowing how badly I screwed up. Especially you."

"Case—" He moved a hand toward her across the table, but she kept hers on her glass. She was completely dry-eyed, but it did still hurt to talk about it.

"Let me finish. That night in my bedroom, we said awful things to each other. For what it's worth, I'm sorry—I never should have said you weren't smart enough for Queen's, because it's not true. But everything you said to me _was_ true. I didn't want to have to hear you say 'I told you so.' But now here we are, so go ahead, say it."

Derek's mouth opened in surprise. "What? I wouldn't say that!"

Casey furrowed her eyebrows. "I've known you for four years, Derek. You'd never pass up a chance to lord something over me. I was going to stay here until August and come home like I'd finished with the show, and you never would have found out the truth."

Derek was looking pained. "You said it yourself, we said awful things to each other that night. I said stuff I didn't mean because I didn't want you to go. And you're holding it against me? This past month, you've been lying to my face. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I don't know, Lord of the Lies, how _does_ it feel?" She said it more harshly than she'd intended, but no way was she going to let Derek take the high road on this one. "You _did _mean what you said. You flat-out said I wouldn't make it as a dancer. And maybe they really did only ask me because of Jesse. You were probably right about that too."

"Casey, no," he said quietly. "I was being such a jerk. I was saying that stuff to make you mad. I'm so sorry."

Well, that was a huge step. They had each apologized for their part in the fight. It should be over. But she was still angry, and hurt, and yes, embarrassed. "Thank you for apologizing."

Derek took a drink, eyes on the floor. They were both quiet for what felt like a long time.

"What now?" he finally asked.

Casey stood up. "I think we need some space. Let me get a couple of things from my room, then you can stay there tonight."

Standing up too, Derek said, "No way. I can sleep on the couch."

They stared at each other. She noticed that his eyes looked sad, and his mouth was set in a thin line. He seemed more hurt than angry now, and she could relate. But she had no idea where they should go from here. "My dad will be home soon. You want to be the one to explain why you're here?"

She fully expected him to say no, but he surprised her.

"I'm the one coming over uninvited. I'll tell him what happened."

"Thanks." She gave him a weak smile that he didn't return.


	13. Approval

**Chapter 13: Approval **

Derek's rom-com-worthy gesture had backfired spectacularly. Edwin had sat him down during their Toronto trip and told him he'd better do something about his feelings for Casey, or else. Derek didn't give him the chance to elaborate on the "or else" part—he was a little scared of his brother at that moment. (Proud, but scared.) He'd said that Ed was right, which stopped Ed in his tracks. Derek mentioned that he'd been thinking about visiting her, and Ed wouldn't let them go anywhere until Derek had booked the flight and the show ticket. It would have been so easy to throw Ed under the bus when he was telling Casey the story, but he hadn't. He'd been too grateful to his brother for kicking his butt into gear.

But as he tossed and turned on the couch, he kept replaying their conversation and coming to the same conclusion—Casey didn't trust him, and that hurt. Her first instinct had been to hide the truth from him because she was scared of his reaction.

Boy, that made him sound like a terrible person.

Was he? Would he have teased her, or been insensitive, if she'd come to him upset about getting fired?

Maybe a few years ago, he would have. But they had been through too much together now. He knew, or thought he knew, that he would have been supportive. He had never been able to deal when she cried, but he had never turned his back on her when she was truly hurting.

But none of that mattered, because she didn't see it that way.

Dennis was humming to himself as he came in and flicked on the light, so Derek sat up and cleared his throat to get his attention. Dennis jumped a mile.

"Derek! I completely forgot you were here. I'm sorry I didn't get your call earlier."

"I shouldn't have left it to the last minute." Derek had always liked Dennis, but now he felt uncomfortable—was he supposed to talk to him like Casey and Lizzie's dad, or like the dad of someone he had feelings for? Dennis couldn't possibly know that was even an option, right?

He didn't have to wait long to find out. Dennis finished taking off his coat and shoes and came over to the couch with a quizzical look. "I have to say, I'm surprised to see you sleeping here and not in Casey's room."

"Casey's room?" Derek croaked.

He took too long to recover, and Dennis gave him a knowing smile. "Lizzie's bed is in there too. They share a room when they visit." He politely ignored Derek's red face. "I take it your surprise visit wasn't well-received?"

Derek stood up and began pacing as Dennis took a seat.

"It's bad, Dennis. Really bad. I don't know how to make it up to her." He tugged at his hair, then took a deep breath. "I came here expecting to, like, sweep her off her feet, but instead I find out she's been hiding this huge secret from me because she thought I would be a jerk about it. I feel …" He didn't know how to articulate how he felt. "You really would have been okay with me in Casey's room?"

Dennis let that hang in the air for a moment, and Derek's heart pounded. "You know I've always been a fan of yours," Dennis finally said. "Thank you for telling me the truth. That takes courage."

Derek looked at him gratefully, but he actually felt worse. Dennis was basically giving him his approval, but it didn't feel like a win when everything else was so wrong. "At least one of us is telling the truth," he said bitterly. "Not that _you_ should have said anything," he quickly clarified. "I'm sure Casey swore you to secrecy?"

"Yes, and I do understand her hesitation to tell anyone. It wasn't just you she didn't want to face. She hasn't even told Nora."

"But she probably would have told her if we hadn't had that fight before she left. That's the problem. It was me she didn't trust. I think I ruined everything." He stopped pacing and returned to the couch, flopping onto it with so much force that Dennis's cushion bounced slightly.

"You're good for Casey, and she cares about you. You two will figure this out."

Derek eyed him. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I'm sure that Casey is feeling just as horrible as you are right now. On that note, I'm going to go say good night to her." He gave Derek a punch on the arm as he got up. "Try to sleep well."

"Good night." Derek lay back down, emotions all in a jumble.

**NYCNYCNYC**

The next morning, the three of them had a tense breakfast in the kitchen. It mostly consisted of Derek and Dennis talking hockey while Casey stared into space, and every time Dennis tried to bring her into the conversation, she would shrug and say she didn't have an opinion.

Derek had no idea what to say to her. She looked so defeated, and it was killing him. He hated that he had been the one to make her feel this way, but then again, she had hurt him pretty badly too.

Dennis stood up. "Why don't you two clean up?" He was gone by the time Derek and Casey had left their own chairs.

"The man is not subtle," Derek said with a forced smirk. His face fell when Casey ignored him. "Case, can we talk about this?"

"There's nothing to talk about. It's going to take time to figure out where we go from here."

"Let's figure it out together." Their hands touched as he took a plate from her and put it in the sink, and he looked at her hopefully. It was disconcerting to be this vulnerable with her. He felt like his heart was lying on the floor, and it was up to her to pick it up and put it back into his chest. Unless she decided to stomp on it instead.

She let out a shaky breath. He couldn't stand it anymore—he had to feel closer to her. He pulled her to him, wrapped his arms around her, and let out his own breath when she returned the gesture.

It was just as satisfying as he'd imagined. All these years, he'd never let himself hug her. A side squeeze, an arm around the shoulder—they were casual touches, all calculated not to betray too much emotion. But a hug had been too familial, too official, too much.

"You're right, we have to keep talking," she said, her forehead pressing against his neck. "I don't want to go another six months without you."

Derek swallowed hard, concentrating on the smell of her hair, the feeling of her pressed against him, and their synchronized breathing. All he could say was, "Yeah."


	14. Healing

**Chapter 14: Healing**

They slowly broke apart a few moments later, and Casey pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes as Derek backed away from her. She was completely drained, but could still appreciate the amazing thing that had just happened. A hug from Derek. That had to be a sign of something—what, she wasn't sure yet. But it was encouragement that they could get through this.

They finished cleaning up from breakfast and said goodbye to her dad as he went off to work. Then they sat on the couch, each fidgeting and not sure where to start.

"I have to be at the coffeehouse this afternoon, but we can go somewhere this morning if you want," Casey said, breaking the silence. She smiled weakly. "It's a relief to say that to your face, that I work at a coffeehouse now." She looked over at him.

He nodded. "It seems like a nice place."

Casey's eyes lit up. "Oh, I can tell you this now, too. I reapplied to Queen's, so if I get in, I'll be there in the fall. And I'm taking some summer classes at NYU."

"That's good."

"So, did you want to go do something?"

Derek shrugged. "If you want."

Casey wasn't sure what she wanted. She wanted things to not be like this, but she couldn't turn back time.

When she didn't answer right away, he pulled out his phone. "I'm going to book the first flight I can get. I think we should cut our losses and talk when I get back to school."

She frowned, disappointed. "Oh. Okay."

He put a hand on her knee. "I don't want to force this. And if we hung out today, it would feel like we're trying too hard to be fine, you know?"

"I guess."

"Do you want to … maybe you could talk to Nora while I'm here? Now that I know, there's no reason to keep anything from your mom. I can be here as, like, a buffer." He got some life back into his eyes at the prospect.

"I just had to relive it all last night. I don't think I want to do it again today." She felt sick at the thought, but she knew he was right—she needed to tell everyone else soon. Liz and Ed hadn't said anything, and she was grateful, but making them keep her secret wasn't fair.

"Even if I'm right here?"

She could tell he wanted so desperately to show her that he was supporting her, being there for her, like she hadn't given him the chance to do in the first place. Her heart swelled with a wave of affection for him. She grabbed his hand from her knee. "Thank you, but I need to do it on my own."

**NYCNYCNYC**

When Derek left for the airport a little while later, they promised to FaceTime soon—and they hugged goodbye, letting it linger as long as they could, until the Lyft driver coughed politely.

Casey went back inside and called her therapist to set up an appointment. She knew she couldn't let her confusing feelings for Derek drag her down. She had to make sure she concentrated on her own life, and trust that things with Derek would work out.

She mostly felt good about that possibility. But she knew she would be obsessing about every interaction they had until things felt normal again. She had to find something that would distract her as effectively as dancing did.

And then it hit her—that something could still be dancing. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it before.

She Googled dance studios in the area and came up with three promising-looking ones. It would be expensive to pay for dance lessons, but it would be worth it if she could feel the rush of performing again. All she needed was to find a place that was compatible with her work schedule.

**NYCNYCNYC**

"One two three four, five six, seven eight," her teacher chanted as he circled the room, examining each dancer's skills as they did the combination he had just demonstrated. He gave an approving nod as he passed Casey, and she felt all warm and fuzzy inside. It was her first class, and already she was appreciating how much she loved this.

And how much she _wasn't _missing doing it professionally. Maybe it was okay that dancing was a hobby—she would just have to find an equally enjoyable career path.

When class ended and she was on her way out of the studio, her mom texted her to see how she was doing. Derek had left a week ago, and they had been texting mostly silly things, like memes and photos of weird stuff (that was mostly her; the streets of New York were infinitely photogenic). They were keeping the communication lines open, even if they weren't discussing anything particularly deep.

She had no idea how much he had told the family about his trip to see her.

Suddenly feeling brave, she ducked down a side street and FaceTimed her mom.

Nora's face filled the screen. "Casey! I'm so happy to see you! It's been way too long." She cocked her head and took her in. "How are you?"

"I'm great." She smiled. "Is this a good time to talk?"

"Sure, the boys are talking a walk and us girls are hanging out." She panned the phone over to Lizzie and Marti, who were in various stages of hairstyling in Marti's room.

"Can you maybe get away for a few minutes?"

Nora's forehead creased as she arched her eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. There's just something I need to talk to you about."

She could hear Lizzie shout what sounded like, "You can do it!" She laughed, surprised that she didn't feel the slightest bit anxious.

Nora got up and went into Lizzie's room, shutting the door behind her. "What's up?"

"Did Derek tell you about his trip down here?"

"Not really. We were all so thrilled that you two are talking again that we didn't ask him much. He's back at school now."

"Well, I need to tell you what happened when he was here."

She saw her mom's eyes widen, and wondered if it was possible that she had the same suspicions about their relationship that her dad had had. But today Casey needed to concentrate on the bad news and save the complicated news for later—much, much later.

"He surprised me at my show, which would have been really nice of him."

"Would have been?" Nora scrunched up her nose in confusion.

"I wasn't there, because I'm not in it anymore. I got fired at the end of December."

She watched her mom process this, her chest tight. Finally, her mom said, "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry to hear that. Why didn't you tell me?"

Casey started to tear up, but she decided to power through. "I was so embarrassed. I'm really sorry I lied to you. I felt horrible about it, but there were so many reasons I didn't want to bring it up. Telling you would make it so real, you know?" She decided she didn't want to bring Derek into this just now. Although he had been a big part of her deception, she knew that ultimately, she had made a choice not to tell anyone in the family, and she had to own it.

"Oh, Casey." Her mom put the phone on Lizzie's desk and rested her chin on her palm. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Casey gave her a quick run-through of her injuries and mistakes, and how she was now working at the coffeehouse. Her mom said the same thing Lizzie had about how dangerous it was dancing in that condition, but added, "And you never should have let distracting Jesse factor into your decision not to go to the doctor. He either would have taken care of you or not, but Casey, please never do that again. You have to put your health first."

Casey nodded. She hadn't really thought about it, but of course her mom was right. She started saying the same things her dad had about being proud she had decided to give Broadway a try. Casey listened, really taking in her soothing tone and supportive voice.

She brushed away tears and smiled. "I wish I could hug you right now."

"Me too, honey, me too. But soon! Make time to come visit us! And now you don't have to stay in New York until August."

Casey paused. "Um, I want to. Dad and I have all these plans, and I'm taking summer classes at NYU."

Her mom looked surprised. "That's wonderful. I wish you would come home sooner, but you deserve this time with your dad."

"Thanks, Mom. You're not, well, mad at me for lying, are you?"

"I'm not happy about it, obviously. But I'm glad your dad was there to help you through this. And your breakup with Jesse. Now I understand why he called me. It wasn't just the breakup you were sad about."

"No, it definitely wasn't. Oh, can you tell George and Marti the basics? I kind of asked Lizzie and Edwin to keep it a secret, so they already know." She bit her lip, trying not to look too guilty.

"That's right, those liars. They told me they went to see the show twice while they were there."

"Oops. Can you maybe just thank them for being such loyal siblings?"

Nora glared at her, then quickly softened. "Of course."

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, honey."

They hung up, and Casey was on cloud nine all the way home. She quickly showered and headed out to meet Jasmine for dinner, and throughout the night, she got supportive texts from every one of her family members (well, except for Simon, of course). Derek even texted a bunch of thumbs-up emojis, and she tried to guess who had told him that she had finally come clean. She didn't have to wonder very long.

_Lizzie and Edwin FaceTimed me. Proud of you. What do you say we retire our titles as Lord and Lady of the Lies and just be us?_

Casey suppressed a squeal and showed Jasmine the text. Derek wanted to be an _us_.


	15. A Declaration

**Chapter 15: A Declaration **

Derek regretted it the second he sent that text. It had felt good as he typed it, but when he put his phone down, he was gripped with waves of panic. What had he done? They had been starting to recover, and he had gone and taken things to a level he wasn't sure he was ready for. Or that she would even want.

Maybe she wouldn't read too much into it.

It was Casey. Of course she would.

But he hadn't given her any indication of how he felt about her before this. Had he?

He ran his hands through his hair and then drummed his fingers on his desk, leaning back in his chair.

Good thing she didn't know about the flowers he'd bought on the way to the theater in New York. He'd trashed them as soon as he found out she wasn't there.

There was no doubt in his mind—he had never stopped loving her. Six months without her hadn't changed anything. These last couple of months talking to her had only strengthened his feelings. And he was on his way to forgiving her. It still hurt, but he understood why she had lied. He didn't like it, but he understood. He was prepared to spend the rest of his life making her see that he was trustworthy.

Because they did have the rest of their lives. They would always be family, even if she could never love him the way he loved her.

The thought turned his stomach. He was in way too deep. Even losing Sally hadn't been as torturous as what he was feeling right now.

He had to tell her how he felt about her. There was no other option.

She answered his FaceTime on the first ring.

"Hi!" Her smile was blindingly bright, and his chest tightened at the sight of her. "Jasmine and I are just leaving the restaurant. Can I call you back when I get home?"

"Hi, Derek!" Jasmine piped up, coming into view next to Casey.

"Hi," he said, trying not to let his disappointment show. "Sure."

"Bye!" they chorused, and Casey hung up.

Well, that was anticlimactic. Now he had to try to concentrate on homework until she called. He muddled through, knowing that with every passing minute he was losing more of his nerve.

**NYCNYCNYC**

Casey called him from her bed, her face scrubbed clean and her hair cascading across her pillow. She was holding the phone up so that he was looking down on her, and the intimacy of the angle was jarring. It took him a moment to find his voice. "Nice PJs. Did you borrow them from Marti?"

"I'll have you know that llamas are very in right now," she told him, pointing to one of the figures on her fuzzy pajama shirt. She rolled over onto her stomach, taking the phone with her so he was seeing her straight on.

He walked over to his own bed and mirrored her pose, propping the phone against his pillow and resting his chin on his hands. "Hi."

"Hi." She bit her lip, searching his face for an indication of his mood.

He didn't know what to say or do. The normal ways he would usually flirt with girls wouldn't work on her. They would feel fake, even if she responded. He didn't know how to talk to her without teasing her and have it feel like _them_. And this had to be completely natural. He didn't want to scare her away … and he was scared himself. He watched her and tried to ignore his pounding heartbeat. "So where did you and Jasmine go for dinner?"

Casey's eyes widened. "I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about your text." The hint of a smile betrayed how proud she was of herself for saying it.

They stared at each other again.

He spoke first. "I had this fantasy." He closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that he had to be brave, but finding it incredibly difficult to look at her while he talked. He looked down instead. "You and I would go off to Queen's, and things would … change. Like, between us. You leaving for New York felt like you were making the choice to leave _me_. I blamed you for ruining something that you didn't even know I wanted."

Casey inhaled sharply. Their eyes finally met, and he definitely saw affection in hers. His heartbeat slowed as relief flooded through him. She didn't say anything, just watched him. He knew he had to continue. "I should have told you how I felt about you. Even if it didn't change your decision to leave, at least you would have known the truth. You deserved that."

"So did you," she said quietly, still watching him. "We always owe each other the truth, even if it's scary."

He nodded. "So here it is: Casey, I'm in love with you."

His heartbeat ratcheted up again as he watched her—she was probably sifting through memories, imagining possibilities, weighing responses. It was agony.

"I'll be right there," she finally said, and hung up the phone.

Derek stared at the screen, trying to figure out what the hell that had meant. He rolled over and covered his face with his pillow, going over everything they had each said, every facial twitch, every expression. She couldn't possibly mean …

Exactly six minutes later, his phone beeped with an incoming text: She had sent a flight itinerary to the closest airport to Queen's, landing at 10:04 a.m. the next morning.


	16. Finally

**Chapter 16: Finally**

Casey tore out of her room. "Dad!"

Her dad paused the TV as she barreled into the living room and joined him on the couch. "What in the world is going on?" he asked with a bemused smile.

"I just booked a flight to Queen's I have to go see Derek he told me he loves me!" She paused to take a breath. "I'm freaking out I don't know what to say or wear or—"

Her dad took her by the shoulders. "Take a deep breath."

She did, and instantly felt calmer. Her thoughts were still a whirlwind, but she kept breathing deeply as he tried to sort out what she'd said.

"Okay, you're going to see him now? When is your flight?"

"Not until the morning. It was the earliest one I could get. But there's no way I'm going to be able to sleep."

Rubbing her shoulders, her dad shook his head. "You have to try. You don't have to worry about a thing—Derek doesn't care what you're wearing or what you say. You'll show up, and everything will work itself out."

Casey knew he was right. She felt guilty that she hadn't said anything to Derek in response. She wanted to tell him she loved him back, because she was pretty sure she did, but she couldn't bear to do it over the phone. She wanted to make a grand gesture, like he had in trying to surprise her with a visit. Now it was her turn.

"Casey." Her dad could tell her mind was wandering and he brought her back to the present. "You can't control this. You can't try to make it perfect. Whatever happens, happens. Please promise me you'll try to relax."

She took another deep breath. "Dad, I don't think I can. There is so much we still need to talk about—"

"And you will." He kissed her forehead. "Focus on the logistics—you'll have to call out of work tomorrow, and pack, and arrange transportation. Concentrate on your to-do list, okay? And let me pay you back for the flight. It must have been insanely expensive."

Casey nodded gratefully, her head still spinning, but feeling slightly less manic. Her dad was right. She had a lot to do before she could even try to think about sleeping.

**NYCNYCNYC**

Somehow, she did fall asleep easily once her head hit the pillow. Before she knew it, she was on the plane, and she started thinking about what she would say to Derek. She knew she had to tell him she loved him right away, because she had woken up with the absolute certainty that she did. All of their years of arguing and griping and frustration and competition had added up to a friendship more intense than any other in her life. She had fallen in love with him when she wasn't looking. And he had done the same, felt the same. She couldn't believe he had said it before she did, and honestly, she couldn't have imagined the Derek of even a year ago being that vulnerable. He had taken a huge risk, and it was about to pay off. For both of them.

When she got to the baggage claim, she scanned the area for Derek, who had texted that he'd pick her up. But it was Sam who came running up to her. He wrapped her in a hug.

"Sam! It's great to see you, but I thought—"

He released her and said, "Don't worry, he's here. I didn't want to miss this, so he let me tag along."

"He just wanted the chance to make fun of me for freaking out about you coming here," Derek said from behind Sam, and when he locked eyes with Casey, her breath caught in her throat. She felt Sam lifting her bag from her shoulder, but she didn't take her gaze from Derek.

He held out a hand and gave her his sexiest smirk. "May I have this dance?"

"What?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sam pull a pod-shaped Bluetooth speaker from his pocket, and suddenly music started blasting from it. Derek took the hand she had started to reach out and began spinning them around. She realized in the next moment that this was the song they had danced to during the competition they had entered the previous year. They began recreating some of their moves. She briefly registered that Sam was filming them with his phone.

"Casey, I'm going to make sure you never stop dancing. And I might not be the best partner, and I might get a lot of steps wrong, but I'm always going to be there to catch you," he said as he dipped her.

They came back up and started to salsa. Oh, this was perfect. Rom-com, cheesy, magical perfection. He knew her so well. Everything she had planned to say had already left her head, and she surrendered to the moment, reveling in it—people who had stopped to watch and were clapping along, the feeling of their steps blending together and bodies weaving in and out, Sam standing there smiling, her love for Derek making her feel so alive and giddy with emotion. She beamed at him. "Derek, you are the only dance partner I want." She spun herself out, holding tight to his hand, and when she spun herself back in, she cupped his cheek with her free hand. He wrapped both arms around her waist. "I love you," she whispered.

He broke into a grin as they stood face to face, and then she closed the distance and kissed him.


	17. Moving Forward

**Chapter 17: Moving Forward **

So … that wasn't a fantasy, what had just happened. He was having trouble believing it. Casey McDonald had boarded a plane with the sole intention of telling him she loved him. When she texted she was coming, he told Sam everything and agreed to let him tag along to pick her up. He barely slept. He had to do something special when he met her at the airport. She deserved a full rom-com-worthy gesture. Sam was on board. All Derek had to do was wait for her. He'd waited almost four years. What was one more night?

And it had been perfect. He couldn't stop smiling. Sure, he liked to brag that what Derek wants, Derek gets. But he was a realist. He had not expected this to actually happen. But it had. She loved him. There weren't enough words in the English language to explain how he felt when she kissed him.

**NYCNYCNYC**

It wasn't until the car ride back to Queen's that doubts started to creep in. It couldn't possibly be this easy, could it? Becoming a couple? They had forgiven each other, knowing that the way ahead wasn't exactly going to be smooth sailing, but at least they were in it together …

Casey must have felt him tense up, because she put a hand on his knee and lifted her head from his shoulder. They were in the backseat, with Sam playing chauffeur—he had offered, after making them promise he wouldn't have to hear anything too lovey-dovey. He hadn't even seemed to realize that Derek had given Sam and Casey a similar speech just a few years ago. So much had changed.

"What's wrong?" she murmured.

"Just thinking about our family's reaction, I guess," he said, not ready to voice the rest of his concerns in front of Sam.

She sat up straight. "Really? I think they'll be happy for us, actually. We don't live with Mom and George anymore, so how could they mind?"

Derek swallowed hard, trying not to betray his shock at her reaction. She was always the worrywart, but now she had turned the tables on him. "What about this summer? We'll be living with them then."

She looked at him blankly. "This summer? I told you, I'm taking classes at NYU. And I have the coffeehouse and my dance class. I'll come to London for a visit, but I'm not moving back."

"What?" Derek was really thrown for a loop now. "You're staying in New York? But I'm working at Smelly Nelly's all summer."

Sam eyed them in the rearview mirror, but didn't say anything. Derek ignored him.

Casey sighed. "That's fine. I need to earn some credits so I'm not too behind now that I officially got in to Queen's. Like I said, I'll come back to visit. And maybe you can take a week off and come to New York."

"We just got together, and you're 'fine' with being apart for three months?" Derek said, his voice higher than he wanted it to be. He couldn't believe she was being so calm about this.

She arched her eyebrows. "Well, not 'fine,' no. But we're apart now, and we're making it work. We can make it work for an extra few months."

"We're finally in a good place, and I don't want us to …" he trailed off and stared out the window, stomach churning with fears he couldn't articulate.

Casey took his hands in hers. "Being together is something we both want, right? So we're going to do it. End of story. I have faith in us, don't you?"

"Well, when you put it like that—" he started to say, turning back to face her.

She cut him off with a kiss. Suddenly he was feeling much more confident. She was right—they could do this. They each had their own lives now, and there would be time to figure out how blend them together. She would be at Queen's in the fall. For now, they had FaceTime.

Sam cleared his throat. "Uh, I think that's the healthiest argument I've ever seen you two have. No one even got called a keener."

"The only reason I'm not smacking you in the head right now is because you're driving," Derek grumbled.

**NYCNYCNYC**

When they got back to Queen's, Derek and Casey went to drop off her bag, and Sam headed to class. She looked around at their dorm room.

"It looks bigger in person," she said, examining the artwork on the walls. "Marti's really getting good."

"Yeah." Derek sat on his bed, hoping she'd sit next to him. She did, and he scooted over so their knees were touching. They smiled at each other. He had the absurd thought that now he could understand how the Grinch felt when his heart grew three sizes at the end of the movie.

"I'm only here for the day, so let's make the most of it," Casey said. "I'm assuming that you're skipping class for me."

"Three, actually," he said with a shrug. "But I emailed my professors this morning to let them know."

Casey's face had been filled with mock outrage, but she quickly grinned. "Very responsible of you. I'm impressed. What did you tell them?"

"Family emergency."

She paled, and it was only when he said it out loud that he realized how it sounded.

"Oh. I guess we have to talk about that, huh?" He pushed himself back farther onto the bed so he was leaning against the wall, and she did the same. He wrapped an arm around her and watched her think.

"It's … awkward. Jasmine knows, and she doesn't care, and Sam doesn't either. And I do think our parents will be fine with it, just because my dad was. But it's a little unconventional, dating your stepsibling."

Derek snorted. "That's one word for it. Some people are really not going to like it."

Casey made a face. "How do you know?"

"I've paid attention to that kind of thing the past few years. News stories or whatever when it came up. Just, you know, in case." He gave her his trademark smirk, trying to lighten the mood. He didn't exactly love the idea of having to explain their relationship to people, but knew it would be an inescapable part of it. He wasn't about to hide how he felt about her to anyone, though, so it was just something they would have to deal with.

Casey sighed. "I want to stop caring what other people think."

"Good." He kissed her, wanting to reassure her that he was all in no matter what, just like she'd done for him in the car earlier. "Let's just see how it goes. I figure we don't have to tell people unless we want to. I fully intend on introducing you to people as my girlfriend, and anything else can come later."

"I like the sound of that." Casey leaned in, and he met her halfway and kissed her again.

He pulled back slightly. He had no desire whatsoever to leave the room, but he knew he had to be a gentleman. "Want me to give you the in-person tour of campus?"

"Um …" she shifted so they were even closer and looked down at their intertwined hands. "Not yet?"

He watched her carefully as she suddenly became very interested in picking at a loose thread on the comforter. Why had that sounded like a question? What did she want? He let go of her hands and reached up to palm her face, tilting her head to look at him. He saw the certainty in her eyes along with a tiny flicker of fear. Oh, so she was nervous. Well, he was nervous too. Being together like this was uncharted territory for both of them, but they'd just have to take it slow. "So you're saying you want to do some stuff we can't do over FaceTime?"

She laughed and brought her own hands up to his jawline, rubbing her thumbs against his mouth. "Yes, please."

So Derek kissed her again.


	18. Home Again

One chapter left after this one …

**Chapter 18: Home Again**

Dating Derek was more of an adjustment than Casey had anticipated. She couldn't do anything she'd typically do as a girlfriend—not just because Derek was currently living in a different country, but because he wasn't a romantic guy in general. She didn't feel right sending him sappy texts or cutesy pictures. It didn't feel like them. She kind of thought he'd go for _sexy_ pictures, but she wasn't comfortable sending those, either.

They were both so busy that they didn't even get to FaceTime more than every couple of days. He had started texting her goodnight each night, which was great because it let her know he was thinking of her even if they didn't have time to talk. She didn't know how many times a day was too much to text him, just like she'd originally worried about too many FaceTimes. Jasmine reassured her that she could text when she felt like it and he would respond when he felt like it, end of story. Casey knew Jasmine was right, but her feelings for Derek were so new, and as much as she did believe they could overcome the long-distance thing, she wanted to make sure they were starting off on the right foot.

"Casey, if you're not sure about something, ask your boyfriend." Jasmine splayed her hands out in a rainbow shape as she said, "Com … mun … i … cation."

Casey sighed. "I know, I know. You're right."

_Am I being too needy if I ask you if I'm texting you too much? _she typed.

Derek sent back the head-exploding emoji almost immediately. _Can you please not have an anxiety spiral when I'm not even here to make fun of you for it?_

She just had time to laugh and show Jasmine the text when another one came through: _Relax, breathe. Nothing about you will ever be too much for me. _

**NYCNYCNYC**

She had forgotten how much all of the McDonald-Venturis liked to dance. A few weeks after coming back from seeing Derek in Kingston, she took another couple of days off to fly to London. A family visit was way, way overdue.

George met her at the airport with a Welcome Home sign, and her heart burst a little. He wrapped her in a tight hug, rocking them back and forth. "I love you, Casey," he said sweetly into her hair, and she beamed into his shoulder. She knew it was his way of showing support without making her talk about everything she'd been through.

As they got out of the car at the house, he asked her if she'd be okay with a little impromptu dance party. They hadn't wanted to surprise her in case it was a sore subject, but she was completely fine with it. They entered the house to a conga line, and, laughing, she dropped her bag and joined right in.

It felt amazing to be there in person with them. Being back with the family plugged up a hole in her heart she hadn't even realized was still there. She went upstairs to get Simon with her mom when he woke up from his nap, and he was pure ecstasy; she watched him wrap his chubby baby fingers around her index finger and babble in his own language, and she couldn't imagine a more perfect moment.

She was supposed to sleep on an air mattress in Lizzie's room, but they ended up cuddled in Lizzie's bed, talking and laughing all night. She told her about making peace with Jesse, and how terribly Derek's visit had gone. Lizzie watched her knowingly as she talked, and Casey's cheeks burned as she tried to explain their reconciliation without going into detail.

"What are you not telling me?" Lizzie asked, propping her chin on her hand.

Casey looked down. "Nothing."

"Caseyyy."

"I can't yet, okay?" They had agreed to spring the news on their family when they were both home together in the summer, but actually being around them was making it very difficult to keep her word.

"Do you have to wait for a certain someone else to be here?" Lizzie grinned.

Casey smacked her with her pillow. "Maybe."

Lizzie looked thoughtful for a second. "If it's what I think it is, I'm happy for you. A little confused about the specifics, but overall, it's pretty cool."

Casey brightened. "Yeah? You think so?"

"Yeah." Lizzie gave her a sly smile. "Totally not surprising, by the way."

Casey's mouth popped open. "It's not?" First her dad, now Lizzie. They had seen so much over the years that she had been completely blind to.

"You know, after you guys started talking again, _you_ started talking about _him _all the time."

"I did not!"

Lizzie grabbed her phone from the nightstand and started scrolling. "I have the texts to prove it."

Casey tried to wrestle the phone out of her hand, but it devolved into a pillow fight that ended in giggles.

And nothing more was said about it, except for the next morning, when Lizzie and Casey crossed paths with Edwin in the hallway.

"Hey Ed," Lizzie said, grabbing his arm. "Who is the least surprising person for Casey to be dating?"

Edwin looked up at Casey, wide-eyed. "You're dating, um, a 'person'?" He did exaggerated finger quotes, but had the same knowing look Lizzie had had the night before.

Casey crossed her arms and glared at them. "I can neither confirm nor deny."

"Oh, she and Derek are totally a couple," Ed stage-whispered in Lizzie's direction.

Casey shoved them both lightly and started to walk away, annoyed at how apparently obvious it had been. She turned around and raised her eyebrows at them. "But I have to ask you to keep a secret one more time, because Derek and I were going to tell everyone together."

They both mimed locking their lips and throwing away the key, eyes sparkling.

**NYCNYCNYC**

For the rest of the spring, Casey itched to get back to London. Her schedule was full of things that made her happy—laughing at work with Jasmine, hanging out with her dad, dance classes, prepping for NYU, FaceTiming with the fam and Derek—but half of her heart was back in that house with everyone, and knowing that Derek was there as of the end of May made it even harder to stay in New York. She would always have a place at her dad's, but there was no question of where she belonged.

At her first recital, she almost passed out from the nerves. But her dad and Jasmine were cheering her on, and she let herself feel the thrill of performing for an audience again. She didn't miss a single step.

And before she knew it, she was heading back home for a three-day visit between NYU summer sessions.


	19. Family Time

Last chapter!

**Chapter 19: Family Time**

Derek picked her up at the airport, and it was a struggle to stop kissing him so they could leave the parking garage. She spent the entire ride back to London holding his hand, and he kept looking over at her and smiling, as if he was appreciating seeing her in 3D again. She felt exactly the same way.

He pulled over a few blocks from their house. "Can I have you to myself for a few more minutes?"

Casey checked her phone. "Probably not. I told Mom we'd be home for dinner."

"And I said that I had an errand to run on the way home, so we might be a little late."

Casey swatted his chest playfully. "No more lying, remember?"

Derek shook his head. "I didn't lie. I do have to pick something up." He unbuckled her seat belt.

"And what is that?" She eyed him, not sure where he was going with this.

"You." She shrieked as he fully lifted her out of the passenger seat and plunked her down on his lap. Her back hit the steering wheel and the horn went off. They both froze, but Casey quickly realized that no one was around to see or care, so she kissed him.

"Smooth, Venturi. Smooth." She kissed him again and left him hanging pitifully as she pulled away, realizing how easy it would be to completely lose track of time. "I'm going to set a timer for 15 minutes."

He groaned as she pulled out her phone, then sat back and rubbed his forehead. "Seriously?"

"Oh, you love me," she said distractedly, tilted away from him as she finished setting up the timer.

"Yup." He brushed her hair behind her ear and resumed kissing her, smiling against her lips. She gave him her full attention again, and they made good use of that 15 minutes.

**NYCNYCNYC**

As they pulled up to the house, the gravity of what they were about to do hit her, and for the first time, Casey was nervous about telling their parents. She bit her lip. "Do you think we should spring it on them right away? Maybe wait a little bit?" She looked at him hopefully, and he glanced at her as he put the car in Park.

"Casey, Casey, Casey. Not getting cold feet, are we?" He looked completely confident, and it infuriated her.

"No." She squirmed a little in her seat. "They're … decidedly less warm than earlier, though."

He pressed a kiss to her temple. "Case, I'm terrified."

"You are?" She looked at him in surprise, and he nodded.

"Of course I am."

Casey smiled. "As long as we're in it together."

"Always."

They joined hands again as they walked up to the house, Casey's bag slung over Derek's shoulder. She ignored her pounding heartbeat as she swung open the door to reveal the whole family at the dinner table.

"Welcome home!" everyone chorused. Casey squeezed Derek's hand, and he squeezed back. They had talked over how they would do this so many times, and now the moment was here—and she wanted to turn right back around and leave. But she knew she owed her family honesty.

Derek dropped her bag next to the stairs and led her to the table. Her mom patted her old seat. "Good to have you home, honey." She was watching them both carefully. Casey could tell she had noticed the handholding.

"Good to be home," she said, smiling. She lifted up their intertwined hands. "Derek and I have some news, first."

Everyone fell silent, all eyes on them—but they all had at least the hint of a smile. An intense wave of relief washed over her, and she could feel Derek's grip relax slightly.

"Casey and I are dating." He looked at each person in turn as they took that in, and then his eyes landed on Casey. He winked at her, and she beamed back at him.

Lizzie and Edwin were the first to jump up from the table and run over to hug them. One by one, everyone else shook off whatever thoughts they had been having and joined the group hug, exclaiming how exciting this was. Casey soaked up their affection, knowing that a longer conversation would be coming.

Marti ended up on Casey's hip, even though she was getting too big for it. And Simon ended up on Derek's. He stuck his fist in his mouth and tucked his head against Derek's neck. Casey heard one of them let out a little sigh of pleasure, and she was pretty sure it was Derek.

"Does this mean you're not going to fight anymore?" Marti asked innocently, playing with Casey's hair.

Lizzie and Edwin covered their snickers behind their hands, and Derek and Casey glared at them.

"We'll probably still fight, but not like before," Casey said honestly. "We're never going to stop talking for six months again, I can promise you that." She looked at Derek. "I can promise _you_ that."

He nodded. "Smarti, it probably doesn't make a lot of sense to you, but we fight because we care about each other. It's going to be different when we're here with you guys from now on, though—I won't give Casey such a hard time." He smirked. "Maybe not as _much_ of a hard time."

Marti giggled, Casey rolled her eyes, and Edwin and Lizzie snickered again. Their parents had stepped back from the group a little and kept looking at each other with widened eyes. "Are you two … you know, okay with this?" Casey asked.

Derek stopped stroking Simon's back and snapped his attention to their parents.

George spoke first. "Of course we are. We're just surprised, and a little confused."

Her mom put her arm around George. "But at the same time, it makes a lot of sense."

"It does." Edwin nodded sagely. It was Lizzie's turn to roll her eyes.

"Can we eat? I'm starving." Derek led the way back to the table.

**NYCNYCNYC**

Over dinner, they told the whole story—reconnecting on Derek's birthday, Derek's trip to New York, Casey's trip to Queen's. They showed them Sam's airport video, both blushing with embarrassment when everyone hooted and whistled at their kiss. Someone, Casey couldn't remember who, started telling stories of the times she and Derek had gotten into trouble together because of one fight or another, and soon they were all reminiscing. She felt Derek's eyes on her the whole time, radiating nothing but love when she looked over at him. It suddenly clicked for her just how long he had had feelings for her, and yet again, she felt really naïve for not seeing it. But she figured it was something she had had to come to in her own time—losing him had made her realize how much she never wanted to again.

**NYCNYCNYC**

Later that night, she and her mom sat on the porch swing with mugs of tea. "I wanted to check in on you. Make sure you're feeling okay."

"I'm great, Mom."

Her mom wrapped an arm around her. "Good. I know you've had a rough year, and I'm so glad that your dad was there for you."

"Me too. We've gotten so much closer. And I figured out that I can dance for fun—doing it professionally made it into work, and I want it to be something I do for me, you know? I belong at university with Derek and Sam." Butterflies of excitement swooped in her stomach as she thought about the upcoming fall semester. She was going to have the time of her life, she could feel it. And her dad would always be there waiting for her, whenever she wanted to visit. Jasmine was at school in the city, so Casey had already promised to stop by her dorm whenever she was in town. And when Jesse's contract was up and he joined a new Broadway show, she fully planned to go see it. She'd be his biggest fan at the stage door.

Before her mom could respond, they heard the door open and George and Derek come out to join them. Derek sat next to Casey, and George sat next to him. "Just wanted to check on you two," George said. "This has been quite a day." He'd had a slightly dazed look on his face since Derek and Casey's announcement that he couldn't seem to shake.

"Poor Dad." Derek patted his knee. "He didn't see this coming." He turned to look at his stepmother. "But you did?"

She shrugged. "Not really, just a feeling. We tried to turn us all into one big happy family, but you two always resisted. Now I know why."

Casey felt the need to defend herself. "It wasn't like that. I did want Derek to feel like my brother." He made a face. "At first. But it wasn't going to happen. We're much better as friends and as a couple. Our relationship is already better than it's ever been. You'll see."

George looked back and forth between them. "I'll need some time to get used to this."

"We did, too, Dad," Derek chimed in. "I didn't know how to be Casey's boyfriend. You know how I used to be with girls. None of that works with her. She doesn't let me get away with anything."

Casey and her mom shared a smile, and Casey reached for Derek's hand. "You're doing fine." He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb, biting his lip. She could tell he wanted to kiss her, but didn't dare in front of their parents. George was traumatized enough.

They began making plans for the next three days, sharing what they were up to that summer, discussing the logistics for moving Casey to Queen's in August. As the sky turned dark and the fireflies emerged, all four of them leaned back against the swing and held onto each other.

"We're here for both of you, no matter what," her mom said. "Derek, I'm your stepmom first, girlfriend's mom second. You can always talk to me. Same with George and Casey." George nodded in agreement.

Casey swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. "Sounds good to me. It's always easier to get through a problem when I share it. I know that now." She grabbed her mom's hand, but she leaned against Derek's shoulder. He brought his head down to rest against hers.

"Dennis sort of has the same philosophy, Nora," Derek said. "We can still talk like we always did, even though I'm with his daughter. He even—" he grinned devilishly at Casey, and her breath hitched, prepared for the worst—"assumed I'd be sleeping with Casey in her room when I stay over."

Casey gasped and shoved his shoulder, jostling George, who snorted. She didn't know for sure if he was telling the truth about that, but given their new no-lies policy, it must be true. How mortifying.

Her mom glanced at George. "Dennis parents how he wants, and we parent how we want," she said diplomatically, her face neutral.

George shoved Derek's other shoulder, jostling Casey. "And we say Casey stays in Lizzie's room and you stay in Edwin's." He was flat-out grinning.

Casey wasn't sure how she felt about that. She figured she'd have plenty of time to think about it later.

Derek smirked. "It was worth a shot." He leaned close to Casey and whispered, "We'll be at your dad's next month."

"Der-ek!"

**THE END**


End file.
